A little Stress

This is representative of exactly how I have been feeling.  Every Monday I have a test in my Monday class.  Every Tuesday and Wed (it seems) I have a skill to test off on, every Wed (roughly) I have a test in my Pharm class, and there are a smattering of other tests and papers throughout.  Ahhhhhh!

I just feel like I never get that sense of accomplishment, like whoo, one test down... its more like one test down, on to the next!  

Anyway, must study for test on Monday, Medication skill for Tue, Nutrition for Wed, or was it Nutrition for Tue and Medication for Wed? hmm.... 

Snowglobe

This morning as I "studied" I looked up out my patio doors and noticed a beautiful site.  Big fluffily snowflakes floating down from the sky like feathers.  It was really very cool, and I felt like I was standing in a building in a snow globe that had just been shaken up.  Just like a snow globe, the flakes stopped as quickly as they began.  It was a truly odd and beautiful snowfall.  

Peek a Boo

I always feel rushed on Thursday mornings.  I wonder why that is...  This morning I took Ava and Wes to daycare.  Ava opened the door for me to leave, I guess she is good. :)

Then I took Taylor and Liv to school.  I told them to have a "great day!" Like I do every time I drop them off. 

After that I drove to the pharmacy to pick up the first round of Liv's antibiotics (she will be on them for a whole month, yuck!) I got there a few minutes before the pharmacy actually opened, and I hadn't considered that the doctor called us pretty late yesterday.  So of course, the scripts were not ready.  I looked around the store for a while, then sat down and read the paper.  My scripts were ready about thirty minutes after I had arrived.  Then I went home to start "studying".  Since my Fridays are busy, I decided that I had to take my pharmacology exam today.  So I started "studying" by typing up my concept map for my pharm test.  While doing so, I listened to my pharm lectures, and somehow absorbed some of the info.  This took a lot longer than I had anticipated, and before I knew it, I needed to run.  

I took the exam.  It was better than I had anticipated, and only took me half the time I had allotted. After that I studied my material for my study group.  I was super excited to have three students come to my study group today.  Forgive my nerdiness... but I am just loving these groups!  When my last student left, I noticed that I had a missed call and voicemail from Tay and Liv's school. 

Apparently my phone does not work well in my classroom.  So I ended up using the phone in the room to call my voicemail.  The teachers had noticed a rash on the back of Tay's neck.  I called them back.  It had been two hours since their initial call, so when they checked him then, the rash had spread all over his back, chest, arms, and face...  I told them I would be right there to get him.  

I called his pediatricians office while I drove.  They recommended bringing him in. 

Apparently this rash is "classic strep", aka Scarlet Fever, aka Strep Throat. 

Wonder what tomorrow will bring. 

Math

This morning got off to a nasty start :(  I was traveling to Oshkosh for my skills class, about ten minutes from my destination, the traffic on the highway stopped.  We latterly inched along for nearly five miles, sigh.  The worst part is that there wasn't any reason for it.  After I got past the exit and on ramp, traffic simply picked up. There was no accident or anything. Then when I finally got on the street where the school is, there was a fire truck and rescue squad.  Luckily, I like to be so early, that I was only five minutes late, even after spending twenty minutes literally stopped on the highway. 

After skills, I had planned to take my math exam (which has to be taken in the testing center at the Oshkosh campus). I was very unhappy to find out that the testing center at the Oshkosh campus closes from 11:30 to 12:30 (my class is done at 12).  It just started to feel like there was someone fighting me today...  So I ended up studying with a classmate there until about 1, then we both went to take the exam.  

The exam took me longer than I had expected it to, but I feel ok about it.  

After that we studied for a little bit longer.  As I prepared to leave, I noticed that I missed a call from the kid's doctor's office.  Which reminded me that Jon was taking Alivya and Wes to the doctor for their well child check.  So I called him to see what was up.  

Apparently Wes has an earwax impaction, and needs to have his hearing tested.  Alivya ended up failing her eye test in a big way in the eye that has always been fine.  She also got a chest X-ray which showed "infiltrate vs atelectasis".  Doc decided to treat for both until we can follow up with a pulmonologist next month.  Oh goodie...  sigh...  

Menominee

So I did better on yesterdays test than the one last week, though not as good as I would like.  At least I'm heading in the right direction. This afternoon I went with one of my classmates to visit/tour the Menominee Tribal Clinic in Keshena.  It was a very informative and interesting visit.  The ladies there were very pleasant and helpful.  They spent over an hour with us, and gave us an all access tour of their clinic.  We were surprised by some of their answers, and impressed by their holistic care concept.  It was definitely a good experience.  

Loss

I learned today that a baby had died.

Breaks my heart to hear that babies die.  I did not know this baby, per se, but still I cried.  Just a couple weeks passed his first birthday, why would God let this happen?

I don't usually let my blog get very political, or religious.  Mostly because I think that everyone has a right to believe whatever it is that they believe.  In the end we will all learn the truth, and at that point we have only our actions in life to reflect upon our character.  If that means something in "eternal life" or not, is not for me to speculate.  However, it is times like this that make me wonder about this God that so many people believe in.  I thought a lot about this as I lay in the hospital praying not to break a fever or start contracting.  I thought even more about it the night Liv and Tay were born, especially after the doctor told me that Taylor had only a 50% chance of surviving the night.  I don't really believe in this God, I think there are just too many awful unjust things in the world.  

At the same time, I recognize that I have my Taylor, six years later, and I don't credit that to pure chance. I think that I am a spiritual person, but not a religious person.  

In the hospital six years ago, as I lay there recovering from my own infection/delivery, while the nurses and doctors worked tirelessly to save my tiny preemies, someone asked if we wanted the babies baptized. If they had asked that at another moment in our lives, neither Jon nor I would have given it a thought.  But there on that evening, with nothing else to do, it gave us something.  It was less about asking God to accept our children, as it was about us honoring the fact that they lived, if even for just that small moment in time.  I am all about religion giving people a sense of belonging, a community, a place to inspire hope and love.  When religion wants to dictate who people can be in love with and how they spend their lives together, what medication they take, and what my children learn in school, that is where religion and I just don't see eye to eye.  

I am just really sad today, I am sad for the baby who won't get to grow up, and his parents who are only kids themselves who have to grow up real fast right now. 

More of the same

Water main break at work today, definitely made the day interesting and quick.  

Workin all day...

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, still at work...  ok, that was going to be a really bad attempt to rhyme, not one of my acclaimed talents...  so I just won't go there.  

Blizard

This morning when we woke up, there was a new coat of snow on everything.  It looked to be around an inch or two, and made me frown because I was just thinking yesterday how nice it was that most of our snow had melted.  About an hour later when Jon left for work, I looked outside and it was a complete white out.  The snow level had doubled in about ten minutes.  I don't remember seeing anything like it.  The blizzard like conditions lasted all morning.  I met my mom for breakfast, then met my instructor to review my exam.  When I finished my study group teaching at 2:30, the sun was out as if there had never been a blizzard at all.

Peculiar.

MoreArt

Kid art

This was probably drawn by Alivya since she is usually the one who wants to "play iPad".  I found it today on my iPad.  Isn't it interesting? I like the hair especially on the red person.  For a second, I thought it might be an axe or something...  Love their artwork these days!

Day three

Pretty sure I'm not this cute... and probably more sick...

I can't remember being this sick.  I'm sure I have been... my some mercy, we forget about it. 

I suffered through another test, did a little better on this one, though not as well as I would have liked.  And then several hours of lecture... and then came home to deal with Ava and Wes, who are also sick.  Sick enough to be totally miserable, but not sick enough for any treatment. 

After doing some homework, I cooked a whole lot of beef.  Some for today, some for the rest of the week.  All while "potty training", that is Ava telling me she has to go potty every ten minutes.  She did put the worlds tiniest poo in it the second time... but the last thirty times have yielded zero successes...  just a lot of "I need help".  Yes, she needs some help...  

Death bed

Saturday night I went to bed feeling "bad".  Something didn't feel right.  I have had sinus pressure since Christmas, but as its been ongoing, I guess I didn't really pay any attention to it.  Early Sunday morning I woke up feeling really "bad".  I had sweats, low low grade fever, sore throat and tons of sinus pain.  I took two Tylenol, and went back to bed.  Finally fell asleep around three. 

When my alarm went off at 7, I felt "ok".  The fever was gone and I had slept a bit.  The pressure was there, but its been there. So I went to work.  Around twenty minutes after being at work, I felt terrible.  Dizzy, watery eyes, sneezing, gunky nasty snot and oh the pressure!

So after three and half hours, I went home.  Well, I left work, then I went to the fast care clinic, where I was officially diagnosed with a sinus infection and given steroids and antibiotics.  

This morning, after three doses of antibiotics, still felt awful.  But, I took a test, nearly failed it... sat through six hours of lecture and returned home (beaten). 

Liv also complained of an ear pain at school today, so Jon took her in... ear infection. 

Super Bowl

I really can't remember being less excited about a super bowl.... :(

At least Aaron Rodgers won the league MVP this year... a little something to be excited about. 

Saturday Photo

Arr, where is my parot?

So Ava has been wearing these patches over her eye for two hours each day for nearly two weeks.  I wonder if they are doing any good.  

Her surgery is scheduled in April, unless her pre-op check reviles that the patches have reversed the exotropia. 

Study Group

A couple weeks ago I got a call around dinnertime from a women in the "teaching/learning" center at the Tech.  I had no idea what the teaching/learning center was, nor why she was calling me…  It turned out that she was given my name by two of my instructors (pretty cool since I only had three instructors since I have been at the tech)… anyway, she is in charge of the teaching/learning center where students can go to get one on one help with homework or study in a quiet space (that is not the library) or talk about test taking strategies, or participate in organized proctored study groups.  She was calling me to ask me to be a study group proctor.  I will be in charge of two weekly study groups for Advanced Anatomy and Physiology.  I am very humbled by the offer and the trust that I can lead a group of students studying a subject that I have "mastered".  Frankly I can use the review too.  So next week I will start my new job… other job (I guess I have a few jobs…)  I am really looking forward to it, I hope that there are a lot of students who come.

And… they are going to pay me twice as much as I made as a tutor because I have a BA already!  How about that?

Shoes update

After class yesterday I stopped at the Oshkosh Payless.  They had the shoe I wanted in my size!  It was on sale for $15, since I bought the other shoes, I got it half off... 7.88 and I had the four dollar coupon for my "inconvenience"...  total paid $3.68!!!!

So I paid about $40 for two pairs of shoes... good quality heavy duty shoes, not cheepies!

For Aunt Melissa...

Liv made this video for her Aunt Melissa who is expecting a new baby in July.  

Monday we found out she is expecting a boy, Liv was disappointed, but I'm sure she'll be just as excited about a boy as she would have been a girl when he arrives!

What is it?

Alphie cards... guess he is staying, welcome to the family Alphie (x2)

Mr Serious

Shoes

Anyone who knows me really well, knows that I HATE shoe shopping.  I have fat feet with virtually no arches... yeah not just fat wide, but fat tall.  This style of thin long narrow shoe, kills me.  So I have been walking around in my shoes for a good four months knowing that I need new ones.  There are literally holes all the way through on the tops where my fat pinky toe pushes out against the curved in design of the shoe.  I got lucky for the last several months as there hasn't been much snow to speak of.  I knew, though, that when the snow flew, I would be in trouble... and my feet have been unhappily wet most of this month...  

So this morning after I dropped all the kids off at school, I went on an adventure to find some shoes.  Mostly I am forced to since I need white clinical shoes by the middle of February, so I figured that I better start now.  First I went Payless since I have always shopped there, but they were not yet open.  So I drove further across town to Rogans.  Coincidently, they were not open yet either.  Apparently you can't buy shoes before 9am.  So to buy time I went into the dollar store and wandered around there for forty minutes or so.  Found things there to buy... of course...  

At about five to, I drove back over to Rogans and waited until it opened.  I walked in and went right back to the ladies "running" shoes isle.  I was enticed by a sign for "work" shoes, where there were several white pairs.  (Nursing schools always require these darned white shoes that I just can't keep clean... why do they do that?) That is when I got the worst sticker shock of my life.  The cheapest pair of shoes that I saw during the whole five minutes I was in the store, was $45.  The shoes were those really cheap canvas style that was popular in the early to mid 90's... you know the ones (oooo found a pic!) ... $10 cheapies from Shopko... okay, just nod. 

So I made my exit pretty swiftly, and went back to Payless.  There I quickly found a shoe for everyday use, but the white collection was not up to par.  Eventually I found one pair that I liked, that was white, but they felt just a little tight around the top of my foot.  I asked if I could get the next size up.  This is my pet peeve with Payless, their sales people are always like, "let me know if you need a different size..." and when you do, they always say, "well if I have it, it would be out..." So then I'm always disappointed because they never actually have another size of any particular shoe I might find... annoying.  Don't act like you have a whole inventory of shoes that you don't have.  So, as usual, she didn't have that shoe in a larger size.  In fact there was only one pair of white shoes that I could even get my foot into, and they were so very flat and uncomfortable...  

So she looked it up and found the other shoe in the right size at two other stores:  Green Bay or Oshkosh

I din't think it was too bad since I am spending two mornings a week right now in Oshkosh... but that store was not open at 9, and I would have to call there to reserve the shoe after 10:00... sigh.  

So I bought the other shoes, took a $4 inconvenience coupon, and went about my day.  I also wear orthotics in my shoe.  I have since December of 2010, that summer I got a really nasty plantar fasciitis.  The cortisone shot did heal it up, but it totally sucked.. going to prevent that...  

Anyway, my orthotic inserts haven't been changed in a year or so, and when I pulled them out the other day, well... they can't be doing much good anymore.  So I decided to pick up some new ones.  I drove back to the downtown area where my podiatrist office is... well was...  That is when I discovered that it was and is not anymore.  Turns out they moved. (which at first I thought they shut down completely, so I wasn't as upset) when I realized that their new location is basically where I just was... Yep, drove back to that area.  (Third trip now...mind you I was supposed to be "studying")  

I actually like the new location, and the parking/building are much much better, so I guess I'm not so annoyed.  Two hours after dropping off the kids, finally got home and hit the books.  

A Bitter Rant

When Wes turned 3 (16 days ago), he graduated from the county's Birth to Three Early Development Program, and entered our local school district.  It was decided through an arduous process that I had outlined since early December of last year right here on my blog, that he would be best served in an Early Childhood Classroom.  At that time, the district was in the process of opening a new classroom as the district's current classrooms were too full and new students had needs (like Wes).  

January sixth, the friday before he was to start at his new classroom, I was invited by his new teacher to come visit with Wes.  He and Ava and I spent hours there, allowing Wes some time to acclimate a little to his new settings.  While doing so, I was informed about many things that had not been previously discussed.  

1. Wes needed a backpack

2. Wes needed a change of clothes (though I assumed this)

3. Wes would need diapers/wipes (this wasn't really discussed, but I realized it while I was there)

4. There would be fees ($17, I know this is not much, but it adds up...)

5. I need to provide snacks for the whole class... (see how its adding up?)

6. Wes would need his sippy cup as he does not drink out of anything else. 

And the list goes on... 

So I found a back pack that would work, filled it with clothes, diapers, wipes, sippy cup; paid the fees; bought some snacks... 

Then the daycare tells me, "Wes' sippy cup did not come back from school today" (this was last week Thursday)

Now, Wes won't drink from just any sippy... nope, too easy.  Wes only drinks from one type 

The first one he chewed through, so we bought two new ones.  It took nearly a month to get him to drink from the new ones.  So I had one, bought two, he chewed through one, that leaves me with two.  

Now I like to stay on top of my dishes, but lets do the math.  

2 cups, 3 meals per day plus snacks.  

I pretty much use one, get that one washed while I use the other.  

We get by.

So I send a cup to day care in the morning, they send it to school, then the school sends it with him back to daycare (in the very much needed backpack)... and we take it home every night for cleaning... right? 

Apparently not. 

Apparently the school needs one to keep there.  The daycare then needs one to keep there (since the school won't send it home... I mean its SOOO hard to remember to send it the backpack with Wes) and then, hmmm, what should we do at home? 

So now I'm supposed to go out and spend more money because its just easier for these "professionals" than to ask them to be accountable for Wes (my three year old who can't talk) by sending the damned cup in his back pack four days a week...  

Wes goes to school M-Th, and this week they were off on Monday, so I would been with only one cup from Thursday through Tues. (Lets not mention, mothers with toddlers, how many times per day do our wonderful toddlers loose their cups?)  So I ended up going to the school to pick it up, at which time I explained that he only has two and that it is important for his nutrition that his cup goes back to daycare since he won't drink out of anything else, and he goes right from school to daycare...  clearly since it was "forgotten" yesterday and today... not a priority.

Sigh

Sorry JZ, I just don't understand. 

Crap Toys

Jon and I bought this Disney Cars 2 International Speedway Inflatable Ball Pit for Westli (et al) for his birthday (Jan 10th).  As you can imagine, the kids were super excited about it.  Fife ish days after his birthday, I made a point to inflate it, and not surprisingly the kids thought it was awesome.  Unfortunately, I could not get the compressor to work right, and I had to wait until Jon got home to fill it. So the kids had about twenty minutes to play with it before it was time for bed.  Reluctantly, they trundled off to bed, and I carried to the basement where it was to be more or less "permanently" inhabiting.  The next day, the kids with great enthusiasm leaped the stairs to go play with it, only to find that the middle had almost completely deflated over night.  

Jon, who has the only undamaged set of lungs in the house, inflated it again.  They played happily for a few hours.  The next day...  deflated again.  Several days after that the track began to deflate.  Now we have 30 three inch balls all over the house and an inflated inter tube with a bunch of uninflected plastic in it.  

Please not that if I didn't inflate it for five days after his birthday Jan. 10, that their first opportunity to play with it was Jan. 15th, it was deflated by at least Jan 17th.. and now its only Jan. 25th...  Less than 10 days to play with a broken crappy toy that cost me almost $40 on sale...  

Needless to say, I'm really disappointed.  Surprised?  Probably not, but disappointed. 

This toy gets and F for function!

Wes Opening it photo.

Stuff

Time is passing so quickly right now.  Its good to be busy, right?

I remember last winter taking forever to pass, so this is nice.  Before I know it, it will be summer!! YAH

I spent four hours in class this morning, ate lunch with Jon, then came home and did my first practice test. I missed three questions... not bad for my first one.  Yesterday after class I met with the director of the Appleton campus Teaching and Learning center.  She offered me a job on campus leading study groups for A&P.  I love teaching and I love A&P... sounds like a job that was made for me.  And because I have a Bachelor's degree...  they can pay me twice what they might normally pay.  FINALLY something that I got out of my four years at Marquette!  

I'm really excited about the opportunity... yet I'm overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to do... so off to do more stuff...  

:)

Make a wish

There might be a lot of photo posts for a while... see you at spring break? 

:(

Wordless

Too Busy

Too busy for a post today :(

Enjoy the pics...

Exotropia really?

I meant to spend this morning preparing for skills next week. Instead, I spent the morning filling out my FAFSA, working on my taxes, and setting up accounts with the US Treasury... This was after I went to Wes' school to fetch his precious cup (we only have 2 that he will actually drink from).  Since I was there, I paid his school fees and had an impromptu conference with his teacher.  I usually spend New Years Day filling out my FAFSA, but this year I had so many distractions that I completely forgot to do it at all. Thankfully I got an email reminder this morning!  In order to fill it out though, I had to go in and estimate my tax info... and since I was in the program, I went ahead and entered the data that I already have.  That lead me to my credit union account, where I had to look up my interest for my accounts because I got a letter stating that there had been an error (to my favor for a change!).  Since I was on the credit union site, I figured I might as well get these paper savings bonds figured out.   I already felt like I had to work fast because Ava had an appointment to see her ophthalmologist.  I have been noticing that one of her eyes sometimes drifts off, though I don't see it in any of her photos...  Her primary also saw some some unequal movement when he was examining her (after I pointed it out).

So I picked her up about 10, and off we went.  She got really sassy with the nurse who was trying to screen her.  The nurse changed the pictures and asked Ava to tell her what the picture was.  (Horse, phone, duck, car, etc) Well Ava was making it up as she went.  Silly names for things.  I'm not sure the nurse really got any useful assessments from it. When the doctor came in, she was a little less silly, but he also didn't ask her to name anything.  He saw the drifting I was talking about right away.  I only notice it intermittently, but he said it was actually constant.  Hmm, you'd think we would have noticed it.  He instilled some drops to dilate her eyes, and we were sent out to wait for the dilating.

There we met another little boy, only a few months younger than Ava, whose mom was smarter than me. She brought snacks for him to eat while seeing the doctor over the lunch period...  She shared some with Ava, a really nice gesture.  After they put us back in a room, I thought, I really should have gotten her name and number.  I'm just not a social person, I always think of these thing too late.  By the time we left, he was back in a room... and Ava was so sleepy and hungry... we couldn't wait.

Anyway, the doctor examined her retinas, then got down to business.  Ava has exotropia.  Most people know this as lazy eye.  Livi had it too, but it seemed to resolve on its own.  Ava will need to wear a patch over her strong eye for two hours each day.  The doctor said that Ava's eyes are always working separately, were as they should be working together.  Because of that, he recommended surgically "loosening" the overactive muscle.  Since the problem seems to be constant, the surgery cannot wait.  Happy New Year, right?!

Pic

Studying hard today, I have to get things done before work this weekend.. and while the kids are away!  

Developmental Wed

Sorry about the birthday pics, I don't have much time these days to take fun pix, so I have to let the ones I have taken last... 

After classes, and picking all the kids up, I met Jon at the library tonight.  Ava had an appointment there to meet with a developmental specialist from the school district.  Since she was also born early like all my other children, but didn't qualify for any services, I thought it was important to have somebody evaluate her to make sure she is still on track.  I set up the appointment more or less as a precautionary thing, going with out really having any specific concerns.  

When the evaluation was complete, I was surprised that she did so poorly.  She was one point beyond refer, and the screener was concerned bout her speech and language.  So we went through a second screener/screening.  This person said given Ava's history (preemie) she recommended having her screened again in September.  It was her opinion that we would know one way or another if she was progressing or developing a delay by then.  Normally she said she would have her screened in a year, but due to the nature of her birth, she thought we should check Ava earlier.

I was a little surprised by the results, but I am very glad that I didn't waste time having her evaluated.  I am reassured knowing that someone is watching out for Ava, and knowing that if something develops, we will catch it early.  

Crocogator

Survived my second day... not sure I still have my sanity, but I am definitely still alive.

As my sister left tonight after picking up Evan, she told the kids, "see you later alligator!" And then she told them that they were supposed to say, "after while crocodile!"

Ava and Taylor both thought this was very funny and really got into it.  Just after she left, Ava looked at me and Jon and repeatedly yelled, "Crockagator!!!!" then she covered her mouth and giggled hysterically.  

So cute!

First day of class...

Today I started my core nursing classes... the beginning of the end!

Is it the end yet?

How about now?

Ugh!

Presents!

presents! 

Nostalgia...

This video made me laugh.  Alivya and Jon... 

Funny Photos

These pix just made me laugh...  Love my children, Happy Birthday to all of them!  

Snow?

Today we had our first snow storm for the winter... Angela.. I guess they called it.  Too bad I had full day of errands to attend to.  When I brought Ava to daycare at 7am, the snow had already begun.  Forecasters had predicted that it would start around 9... I took Tay and Liv to school next, after about half an inch had already fallen.  Finally I put Wes on the bus.  In between, I picked up stuff in the yard that I thought would be unpleasant to deal with after all the snow had fallen. Once Wes was safely on his way to school, I took a shower.  A hot long shower in my quiet empty house.  If you lived amid my four loud children, you might understand the sweet simplicity of that hour.  

I had planned to hit the city center to pay our taxes, but I got a phone call that changed my whole morning plan.  In Wisconsin, BadgerCare is the states sponsored health plan for children and adults who can't afford health care or don't have access at work.  BadgerCare saves money by requiring enrollees to select an HMO, dozens of health care plans that have negotiated costs not unlike those of private insurance companies.  Medicaid, Title 19, EDS, are all the same plan, that is pretty much reserved for children or adults who have disabilities that make them eligible for the state to help pay for their healthcare needs.  Disabled patients are not required, generally speaking, to have an HMO.  Katie Beckett is a special program in Wisconsin that is designed to help families keep their disabled children out of institutions that might otherwise be necessary.  The program does this by making all of its enrollees Medicaid eligible, which also makes them able to pay for all sorts of special health care needs.  It helps pay for special therapy, medical equipment, and special health care providers, among other things.  Westli and Taylor have both been eligible for Katie Beckett, and I can't imagine how we would have taken care of either of their needs with out it.  To make a long story short, something happened to Wes' account, and I started getting information telling me that Wes needed an HMO.  I new this to be incorrect, and I contacted the Katie Beckett consultant for our area.  She told me that she had not hear of any changes, and I should use the number on the back of his Forward health card... In the meantime, someone called Jon and informed him that if we didn't pick an HMO, that one would be selected for us.  Jon informed them that Wes was eligible through Katie Beckett, and they acted as if they had never heard of it, but agreed to contact our consultant directly.  So I thought we had taken care of things.  Just after Christmas, I got a postcard in the mail informing that we had not selected an HMO, and therefore Wes was being assigned one.  So I called the number on the back of the card again.  They told me that I had to speak to the HMO specialists, and gave me another number to call. So I called that number, they told me that only my case worker could make that change, and I needed to contact our county Health department.  Since I don't have a case worker, I thought this unlikely, but I called there anyway.  They told me that they did not have Westli on BadgerCare, and that I should call the Social Security office who manages Medicaid for Katie Beckett applicants.  I called there, and I was informed that they never deal with this sort of thing, but because I was now crying, the guy agreed to pass me along to the SSI department who might have a suggestion of someone else I could call.  Obviously this wasn't ideal, but what else was I going to do?  I agreed to the transfer.  When the voicemail started I lost it.  I hung up the phone and sobbed.  Then I started a big argument with Jon via text, probably because I felt so helpless.  When I calmed down, I called the number on the back of the card again.  I dialed Jon into the conversation just in time for the person to explain to us that in her opinion, it was the Katie Beckett consultant who had caused all of this, and it was her who needed to fix it...  You might need to go all the way back to the top of this long paragraph to appreciate the irony of this... it was the Katie Beckett Consultant who I had first contacted... she was also the one who had called me and interrupted my morning.  She called to tell me that she had "no idea why this was happening, nor who I should contact." Though she did recommend calling the number on the back of the card again.  Sigh

Sigh

Sigh

After being all worked up about this, I headed out for a visit with a very old friend, Doris.  Doris and I had worked together for a summer in 1998.  We ran into each other a couple of years ago, and I vowed to meet up with her to catch up... though I never forgot about it, it just never really worked out.  So my New Years Resolution this year was to make good on my resolve.  Doris and I met for lunch, despite the snow storm now in full effect.  We talked for two hours, and barely began to catch up.  It was very nice.  

After that I stopped at the grocery store, ran them home, and headed out for Wes' final appointment for Birth to three.  Afterwards Wes and Ava and I came home and started dinner while we waited for Jon and the big kids to get home. 

Blue Bus

This morning I put Westli on a great big yellow school bus to take him to school for therapy.  As I turned to go back in the house, my eyes welled up with tears in an unexpected moment of deep emotion.  I think it helped that the bus was late, and the woman in the bus to help get the kids situated pretty much ripped him out of my arms to strap him in.  I got a clear message that I should get out so they could get on with their day.  Ordinarily I welcome help with these things, but I think that this being a new routine for Wes, my first day of getting him on the bus (his second of riding it), I guess I would have appreciated a little bit more compassion and understanding.  So as I heard him cry out, while simultaneously backing myself off the bus and turning to leave, I guess it is not surprising that a strong gust of emotion rose within me.  

Ava and I watched from the office as the bus drove away with my tiny twenty three pound Westli.  My tears trickled down my cheeks as I withheld the sobs that so desperately wanted to cry out, and then... 

Ava spoke, "Where's my bus?" 

She is so quick.  She understood that there was a big fuss about getting everyone but her off to school.  

I said, "Ava, do you want to get on Momma's blue bus and go visit her school?" I wanted to go to the book store to pick up my books.  

"Blue bus?" she inquired, interested, but not committed, "Ava's blue bus!?!"

"Yeah!" I played it up, "Lets get your coat!"

She jumped off the chair and ran off to get her coat.  We got all bundled up and I opened the door to the garage where my Navy blue Toyota mini van is always parked. 

"Where's AVA's BLUUUUE Bus?" Ava demanded.

I point at the van and I said, "Momma's Blue Bus!" Then I swept her up and plopped her in her carseat. 

A couple of seconds passed as understanding swept across her face.  Crockodile tears pouring out of her big eyes she cried, "Nooooooooo! Want Ava's Bluuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeee bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Screams.

Epic Fail!

Happy Birthday Ava and Wes

Happy Birthday to my beautiful 3 year olds! Ava and Wes were born 11 weeks early three years ago today! Their labor was induced by Pap Murphy's pizza and/or JZ. Really the joke ended up on him since he was left with Tay and Liv all night as I labored away. Not surprisingly, he didn't come back for a visit for nearly two years!

Ava and Wes have both come a very long way since they left the hospital three months after being born... Actually we all have come a long way. This birthday allows me to reflect on the journey, and reminds me that as a family we are in a much better place. So while it's true that I don't know where the time went, I'm really not disappointed that it's gone. (For the most part anyway) It is also true that I very much miss holding babies, but there are other ways to satisfy that need!

Here is hoping that Ava and Wes have a great and Happy 3rd Birthday!!!

Wes' first day!

Who doesn't love this face?

Tomorrow my babies, who I acknowledge haven't been babies for a long time, turn another year older... they will be all the wiser, smarter, more independent, stronger, older... 

In all honesty, it is already happening, tomorrow is just a formality.  This morning I sent Taylor and Liv to school early so that I could meet Wes' cab at school.  There, eventually, I put him in his car seat and watched as someone else drove off my child to his first day of school.  

Like when Taylor first went to school, the cab arrived today without an appropriate carseat.  I will never understand why they think they are outside of the law.  Not my child.  The driver called the dispatch to ask for a car seat, and they told her that there wasn't one available.  I was LIVID!  After pulling my car seat out of my car, I made a call to the transportation coordinator at the school and gave her a piece of my mind.  I made it very plain and clear that he is 23 pounds and requires a five point harness.  I brought this up at the IEP, where the physical therapist agreed, I brought it up to the daycare, who thankfully refused to send him in a booster seat (meant for 80 lb children). I told absolutely everyone who would listen, and it still happened.  Why?

The transportation coordinator assures me that it won't happen again, but my confidence is really low.  Unfortunately, next week I won't be available to lend my car seat.  Furthermore, the drive was like, "where am I taking him?"

UGH!

Anyway, he returned back from school on a bus, strapped into a five point harness, safe... 

I wish I could turn my stress into pennies.. I would be so rich!  

Ugh

My sinus infection is totally getting the better of me.  Hardly slept last night, and I woke with a terrible awful headache. I worked my regular shifts this weekend, so another ten hours today.  It was grueling because it was too slow for the majority of it.  Being too slow in my job is almost as bad as being too busy... yet there is never a happy medium.  Oh well... 

Jon got a lot done at home this weekend.  He cleaned up the mess the kids made in the basement, and moved most of their newly acquired toys down to the basement play area.  He laundered the kids clothes, and helped Taylor finish his homework.  I assume he knows what a big help this is, but it can't hurt to mention it here and there. 

Thanks Hubby!

Even Santa is a Football fan

Figured I had better post this before we get too far beyond Christmas and everyone hates me for  not letting go...  

Wes' opinion of Santa hasn't changed much... he have Santa this same look of immense curiosity last year!  

After working ten hours today, I came home and watched the NFC playoff game between the Saints and the Lions.  I didn't and don't really care who won, though I guess I assume that it would be a more challenging game for the Pack to play a number three seed than a number six seed.  Anyway, I enjoyed the game for all the reasons a football fan enjoys football.  It was a close competition, well until the last quarter.  It was everything a playoff game should be.  Despite my better judgement, I even stayed up to see the end. 

Toast to Run on sentences

Well, today marks the end of the first work week of 2012. 

And as exhausting as it has been, I've made it still the same:)

The week I rang in a new year, turned another year older, celebrated by ripping myself away from my children and their noise, developed a terrible sinus infection, treated four other runny snot noses, visited my six year old's classroom where I was subject to the interrogation of twenty some odd kindergarteners, got fit tested for TB masks (and subsequently recovered from said fit testing), and so much more. 

This weekend I will work my whole weekend for the first time since November 1st...  Bring it!

No Key

I slept so good last night...so good.  I think I must have been utterly exhausted.  This morning I got out of bed complaining though, I wanted to sleep more.  Jon and I got the kids dressed and fed, and he went off to work while I dropped Ava and Wes off at daycare.  I dropped Tay and Liv off at school, and embarked on what I thought was a busy day.  First I came home and took a shower, something I like to take my time doing, and therefore can't do in the morning!  

Then I went to work for fit testing.  Lightheaded from the test, I decided to linger a bit until I gain my head again.  I walked over to the department to see how my friend and new coworker was fairing on his second day.  I had a nice visit and eventually pulled myself away to get on with other things I had to do.  

First I went to Kohls to exchange a defective gift.  I thought for a minute that Kohls wasn't going to take the defective one since their system didn't recognize the bar code.  But in time she gave up and scanned the new bar code as the old one and I got to go on my way.  I was tempted while there to pick up the book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?  But then I would have had to pick up the matching stuffed animals, and as Jon will tell you too, our kids have too many stuffed animals as it is.  So I left with my exchanged gift and nothing else.  

Then I went to Walmart where I needed to get snacks for the Kindergarten classes that Taylor and Livi are in.  I hate doing this for Alivya's class because they sent out a list of "acceptable" foods for their "many" kids with "allergies".  While I am sensitive and understanding to these children, I think it is really unreasonable for their parents to tell me where I can shop and that I have to buy a name brand of any particular food.  I think these parents have confused the concept of "allergies" with "preferences" and my pocket book can't afford them.  One bag of Crasins (100% all natural dried cranberries), for example cost nearly $3 at WalMart... more at Pick n Save or Whole foods (I would bet), while 100% all natural dried cranberries (WalMart brand: Great value) is about $1.50... half the price... same product. I don't pay for branding for my own family, why should I do it for 24 kids who I don't know? 

Yeah, this really hits a nerve for me.  Especially when it seems that I'm being asked to buy more and more food items for their classrooms.  At this point, I think I would be better off if I just sent snacks for my kids the way my parents did for me...  

Off soap box now...

So I picked up a burger and a shake and headed home.  I got out of my car walked up to my door, and discovered that I had locked it...  Now I was locked out of my own house. 

Great!

I called Jon and begged him to come let me in without asking or laughing at me.  Then I went to Taylor's classroom where I was invited to read his favorite book and bring his favorite treat as a birthday celebration.  I attempted to repair our copy of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", the book he wanted me to read (and the book he mangled when he got into the scissors last year).  I brought dixie cups and M&Ms for a treat.  Sometimes I love how simple Taylor can be!

First Graduation

Wow, what a tough day today was.  

Wes and Ava will turn three on Tuesday, Jan 10th.  A magic day, developmentally speaking.  I always wondered what it was about three that made Birth to three what it is.  And I never got a good answer.  In so many ways, Wes is not at all ready to loose Birth to three, but the one way that maters is upon us.  Today he had his last visits with physical therapy, speech/feeding therapy, and occupational therapy.  I know that this will not be the last time we see these therapists, but it is the last time we see them as clients.  I think what is so difficult is that they know, and I know that their work isn't finished.  Unlike when Taylor and Alivya graduated, Wes still has so much work yet to do.  I think a sense of completion, an understanding that your patient is so much better than when you started would make a day like this easier.  Yes, Wes is much better than when he started, and I do think a lot of that has to do with these people in our lives, but I would have liked him to be further along today.  

I was proud of myself, I didn't let my tears fly, though they have several times over the past few days.  It was Lisa (PT) who encouraged all my children to walk... even Ava, who never officially received any services.  It was Jen who teased out their first words, even Wes, who I worried might never talk.  And although Sharon hasn't been with us as long, she discovered that the key to distracting Wes was, most unusually, a little bit of rough housing.  I know I have written posts like this before, but these people come to your house, weekly for three years.  They see the best of you as a parent, they see the worst of you as a parent, they see the struggles, the potential, the messes, the celebrations...  They are sometimes the very best resources, a break in the monotony, willing ears and very often the only adult interaction for an entire day.  Their role in my life is so much bigger than one of my children's therapists.  I have grown extremely close to these women, I think of them as friends, and while I know that they are just an email away, I will miss them very much.  

I hope that through the years, I have expressed how important they are to our family and how grateful we are to them for care and compassion that they brought to our home.  They have taught me so much about my children, myself, and my community!  

Thank you to all the staff at Outagamie County Birth to 3!

and especially our therapists:

Lisa

Jen

Mary S.

Mary G.

Sharon

Its my party

After taking the kids to school (yay for the break to be over!!!) and dropping Ava off at daycare.  Wes and I headed out to his last feeding group.  Can't believe that my last tiny baby is graduating from Birth to three.  We have been recipients of care from the wonderful therapists at Birth to Three since Taylor was six months old.  

Feeding group was small this week, only two other families.  I think the hardest part about it being his last, was that he is no where near being a child who doesn't need a feeding group.  Funny how age maters. 

After feeding group, Wes and I headed to the hospital for his EEG study.  I was surprised by the fact that Wes was in such a good mood.  He was put to bed three hours later than usual, and woken up two hours earlier than usual.  On top of that, he chose not to nap on Monday, so I figured that by Tuesday morning, he was going to be very crabby.  Quite to the contrary, Wes was happy and amiable. He giggled and smiled brightly.  Though his eyes were droopy like someone who hadn't slept much.  He was very cooperative for the technician for about twenty minutes.  At which point he was really done with her fussing about his head.  There were a couple of leads that just were not picking up.  Each time he got close to falling asleep she would jump up and mess with his head.  After about an hour, he finally fell asleep.  He slept very deeply for about forty five minutes, then less deeply, and woke up about five minutes before she was really finished.  He didn't like the strobe test. I think it scared him.  When it was time to leave, he got to ride in a wheel chair, which he thought was fun and fabulous.  

As we left, we ran into Grandpa too.  Wes got to sit on his lap and spend a little alone time since all the other kids were at school.  

Later I make diner for the kids, and Jon picked up the babysitter.  Hurray!!

Jon, his mother, and I went out for dinner for my birthday.  I long for adult, kid free, time so much.  And consequently, time really flew. Before I knew it hours had passed and we were actually late getting home.  Thankfully our babysitter was very understanding.  For my birthday I got adult time, dinner, three new rubber spatulas, a gravy boat, and the Green Bay Packers :)  

I had a great birthday, thank you Jon and Kay for making it so!!!!

Last day of Vay-cay

Jon worked last Tuesday, then took the rest of the year off.  Sadly he was sick on Wednesday, had stuff going on Thursday and Friday, and I had to work on Saturday.  So we didn't get to do much of anything that we had planned to do around the house.  We found ourselves scrambling around a bit today trying to get things done.  

I discovered that I never made appointments for Taylor and Livi for their six year well child... ooops...  Sometimes I wish there was someone who could remind me to do things.  (Sorry Steve, reminders isn't good enough yet)

I picked up a huge cargo net, and Jon hung it in the girls room so that we could store all the kids stuffed animals.  It sort of is awesome, and huge!  The kids enjoyed filling the net while Jon and I tried to figure out how to keep it up!  

Now I'm catching up on blogging and listening to the Badger Rose Bowl game... sounds like an amazing game to watch, but our local stations are not playing the game.  Yes, I am a little bitter!

Happy 2012

Happy New Year!

Our family enjoyed a very quiet New Years Day.  We took down the Christmas tree and other decorations.  We also started looking for new places to store all these new toys.  Outside the weather finally got the message that its winter in Wisconsin.  About an inch or two of snow fell after we went to bed sometime around two in the morning.  The news reported pretty nasty driving conditions, but we would not have known since we spent the day indoors.  

The kids played with their new toys while I watched the Packers win yet again, for a 15-1 season. Would have been awesome to have gone 16-0, but I think 15-1 is an amazing second best!  

Liv begged me to play with her new pottery wheel.  When we finally managed to coral four D sized batteries, mix enough water into the clay to make it moldable, and figure out how to get it to stick to the wheel... she had already lost interest.  As it turns out, she is really more interested in painting the pot than actually making the pot.  I have always wanted to learn to make pottery, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  It was really hard, but I do think that this kit is in part responsible.  Its all small, so it really isn't made for my big hands, and the plastic part that rotates the pot doesn't have any thing that holds the clay on.  I wonder how a real pottery wheel compares.