We wanted to thank everyone who contacted us with words of strength and sympathy during this time. Few people know how absolutely awful it is to loose a child, let alone two. Those of you who do, you know that the grief and sorrow is impossible to put into words. We think we are very fortunate to have two "seemingly" healthy babies still growing. We think this is important to recognize this in the face of our grief.
In other news, yesterday at breakfast Livi sang the ABC's from A to Z, in the correct order... except she still thinks there is a letter called "double x" in place of w and x. She followed this up with a complete almost perfect version of the little song at the end... It was amazing. Its almost like she absorbs this stuff in her sleep. The best part about this whole thing was that Taylor, who usually yells at us for singing, demanded that we "sing ABCs".
In so many ways they are such little grown up kids. Still, I can't stop calling them by babies. That just might not ever change... I will have my babies and my younger babies...
Us
Wife, Parent, Nurse; my life raw and real, as I see it.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Conflicted
Please see the graphic to the right...
Needless to say, it is unlikely that we will share the ultrasound images from this week.
Needless to say, it is unlikely that we will share the ultrasound images from this week.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Painting with Poo-
This is a post that I started to write four days ago... I am not sure what interrupted me, probably a little boy and/or little girl, finding something more fun to paint with...
So last night [Monday Sept. 15] when Jon went out to get us a little frozen treat, I was resting on the couch watching PBS. Around twenty minutes after he left, the kids, who had been playing 'quietly' in their room, as they do every night, started to make a racket that I was unaware two and half year old children could make. So I decided it was time to take a little walk up there and see what was up. As I climbed the stairs, I realized that the sound was one I had heard once before...
My thoughts immediately began to dwell on the fact that we never repainted that room, and its eggshell finish and fine texture would present some major challenges. The sound was one we heard just a few weekends ago when the kids got into the crayons and decided to make their mark on the library wall. While I was worried about how to get the crayon off the wall, I actually opened the door to their room totally ready to simply remove their weapons of choice and lay the "nigh-night time smack down" routine.
However, the scene on the other side of the door, is still [four days later] indescribable. I slipped my hand over my gaping mouth to prevent 'middle school toys and up' words from slipping out. (yes that is yet another Toy Story reference.. love that movie) Anyway, my angel children were each standing on Livi's bed; buck naked from their waist down. The boy child's hands covered in, you guessed it, POOP, also carried a wooden block, also covered in POOP! The girl child was weapon-less, unless you count her hands, caked in POOP. My male child, or should I say at this point, JON'S male child, had, yes POOP, matted in his hair, covering his face like a mud mask, and up both of his arms. The masterpiece on my walls, created with such a clever medium, was the stinkiest piece of **** ever! I might add, it was solid and dry... remember that fine textured wall I wasn't sure if I could get crayon off of? Little chunks of said medium littered the whole room, beds, blankets, carpet... some of course, stepped on and smashed in, well.
I am thankful that only Livi and Taylor were there to witness the shock and disbelieve on my mug, and that they likely will not remember it. At the time, I would have given them to the lowest bidder, I might even have found a large card board box and a marker, "Free to the first Sucker". Four days later though, I can find some humor in the situation. After catching my breath, I muttered three words, "OH ... MY ... GOD!!!!" The fact that Livi instantly covered her mouth, as I had been doing, with her feces covered hand and gasped, "Oh my God"... is actually something I can laugh at now. And the conditioner incident a few days before... yeah, so minor now...
Remember how co-operative they were when they got in trouble for that? Well you should have seen them this night. I said "arms up" and they where up almost before the words came out. I said "BATHHHHHH" and they raced to the tub. They didn't ask for the toys that I had quickly removed from the tub or the markers they usually get to play with. This, they knew, was a special bath. They didn't even cry when I ran the water while they were in the tub... nor when I told them that they could not drink or dump the water over each other's heads... (yes Taylor has a thing about drinking bath and pool water. He is a very special child. We do not encourage this behavior, however we do tend to pick our battles, and well, this is rarely one we spend a great deal of time arguing over)Five wash cloths, six shampoos, two conditionings, and twenty five minutes later, I had two children no longer covered in crap, literally.
In the meantime, Jon came home to find the trail lit. I can't imagine what was going through his mind as he climbed the stairs, but if he was shocked, I couldn't tell. He never gets to be the one to discover these things... hmm... I have theories about why that is. Another post...
So he stripped the beds, gathered the many blankets (my kids are obsessive now about their blankets. Sleep cannot happen with less than three each)and took them all to the washer. We thought we would put the kids in the other room while we cleaned up the mess. This turned out to be a BIG mistake.
Within five minutes, they found and emptied half a tube of diaper rash cream, which had then become their new medium for decorating the other bedroom.
Now on our third pair of PJs for the evening, and our last fiber of patience, we put them on the bed with strict orders not to move a finger. This of course only humored them. They enjoyed watching us scrub the walls free of their hard work. Livi echoed our comments as Taylor slipped off the bed, trying to save his masterpiece.
Two hours after Jon returned from his little trip, my ice cream was totally melted on the table, and his was frozen solid in the freezer. We were both tired, exhausted, and stinky (I could use some other choice adjectives here, but I do try to use only preschool aged language for the 'toys' that might be reading...)
I like to think that these experiences are all on the 'learning curve' and that things will progress steadily to tidy, polite, young people, but these children have several counts against them. 1: repeat offenses 2: mocking and laughter in the face of discipline 3: the fact that when Daddy asks Livi "Where does your poopy go?" Livi now responds "On the wall!"
WE ARE ALL DOOMED, RUN!
So last night [Monday Sept. 15] when Jon went out to get us a little frozen treat, I was resting on the couch watching PBS. Around twenty minutes after he left, the kids, who had been playing 'quietly' in their room, as they do every night, started to make a racket that I was unaware two and half year old children could make. So I decided it was time to take a little walk up there and see what was up. As I climbed the stairs, I realized that the sound was one I had heard once before...
My thoughts immediately began to dwell on the fact that we never repainted that room, and its eggshell finish and fine texture would present some major challenges. The sound was one we heard just a few weekends ago when the kids got into the crayons and decided to make their mark on the library wall. While I was worried about how to get the crayon off the wall, I actually opened the door to their room totally ready to simply remove their weapons of choice and lay the "nigh-night time smack down" routine.
However, the scene on the other side of the door, is still [four days later] indescribable. I slipped my hand over my gaping mouth to prevent 'middle school toys and up' words from slipping out. (yes that is yet another Toy Story reference.. love that movie) Anyway, my angel children were each standing on Livi's bed; buck naked from their waist down. The boy child's hands covered in, you guessed it, POOP, also carried a wooden block, also covered in POOP! The girl child was weapon-less, unless you count her hands, caked in POOP. My male child, or should I say at this point, JON'S male child, had, yes POOP, matted in his hair, covering his face like a mud mask, and up both of his arms. The masterpiece on my walls, created with such a clever medium, was the stinkiest piece of **** ever! I might add, it was solid and dry... remember that fine textured wall I wasn't sure if I could get crayon off of? Little chunks of said medium littered the whole room, beds, blankets, carpet... some of course, stepped on and smashed in, well.
I am thankful that only Livi and Taylor were there to witness the shock and disbelieve on my mug, and that they likely will not remember it. At the time, I would have given them to the lowest bidder, I might even have found a large card board box and a marker, "Free to the first Sucker". Four days later though, I can find some humor in the situation. After catching my breath, I muttered three words, "OH ... MY ... GOD!!!!" The fact that Livi instantly covered her mouth, as I had been doing, with her feces covered hand and gasped, "Oh my God"... is actually something I can laugh at now. And the conditioner incident a few days before... yeah, so minor now...
Remember how co-operative they were when they got in trouble for that? Well you should have seen them this night. I said "arms up" and they where up almost before the words came out. I said "BATHHHHHH" and they raced to the tub. They didn't ask for the toys that I had quickly removed from the tub or the markers they usually get to play with. This, they knew, was a special bath. They didn't even cry when I ran the water while they were in the tub... nor when I told them that they could not drink or dump the water over each other's heads... (yes Taylor has a thing about drinking bath and pool water. He is a very special child. We do not encourage this behavior, however we do tend to pick our battles, and well, this is rarely one we spend a great deal of time arguing over)Five wash cloths, six shampoos, two conditionings, and twenty five minutes later, I had two children no longer covered in crap, literally.
In the meantime, Jon came home to find the trail lit. I can't imagine what was going through his mind as he climbed the stairs, but if he was shocked, I couldn't tell. He never gets to be the one to discover these things... hmm... I have theories about why that is. Another post...
So he stripped the beds, gathered the many blankets (my kids are obsessive now about their blankets. Sleep cannot happen with less than three each)and took them all to the washer. We thought we would put the kids in the other room while we cleaned up the mess. This turned out to be a BIG mistake.
Within five minutes, they found and emptied half a tube of diaper rash cream, which had then become their new medium for decorating the other bedroom.
Now on our third pair of PJs for the evening, and our last fiber of patience, we put them on the bed with strict orders not to move a finger. This of course only humored them. They enjoyed watching us scrub the walls free of their hard work. Livi echoed our comments as Taylor slipped off the bed, trying to save his masterpiece.
Two hours after Jon returned from his little trip, my ice cream was totally melted on the table, and his was frozen solid in the freezer. We were both tired, exhausted, and stinky (I could use some other choice adjectives here, but I do try to use only preschool aged language for the 'toys' that might be reading...)
I like to think that these experiences are all on the 'learning curve' and that things will progress steadily to tidy, polite, young people, but these children have several counts against them. 1: repeat offenses 2: mocking and laughter in the face of discipline 3: the fact that when Daddy asks Livi "Where does your poopy go?" Livi now responds "On the wall!"
WE ARE ALL DOOMED, RUN!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Relief
We found a babysitter for tomorrow... Thanks TANYA!!! YOUR A LIFESAVER... not that we didn't already know that!
Desperate
We are desperately in need of a baby sitter on Friday from 2:30-9:30, if you are interested, email me or leave your email in the comments, and I will email you...
Sincerely,
Super desperate!
Sincerely,
Super desperate!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Angry Eyes
We are avid Pixar fans, and one of our favorite Pixar flicks it Toy Story. I wouldn't say that I have a favorite character, although one of my favorites to quote is Mr. Potato Head.
So this afternoon I was working on the computer in the living room while the kids played in the playroom. For those of you who don't know our home, our first floor is fairly open, the front foyer wraps around the stairs into the living/dinning room, which is overlooked by the kitchen which leads right into the "play" room (future library) which flows right back into the foyer. Its a big circle around the stairs. Anyway, I am sitting there in the living/dinning room, while kids are playing a dozen or so feet away, when I hear them start whining. This is always a sure sign that one of them was playing with something that the other wants/wanted/had... I call out to Livi, who was almost screaming in tears, "come to Mommy, come tell me what's wrong..."
Soaking up all the sympathy possible, she comes up to me sobbing, red faced with tears streaming down. I bent down to pick her up when I touched something gooey all over her shirt. A closer look, and I see that she is covered, head to toe in a white, gooey, viscus substance.
My "angry eyes" slipped right out of their little pocket and replaced my sympathetic, mommy loves you eyes... I picked her up and carried her back into the play room where I find Taylor more densely coated with stuff and holding the SMOKING GUN! Half a bottle of hair conditioner, that I purchased yesterday since I was out, was now smeared over my children, their toys, their art table, and the carpet.
This is when I completely lost it, and my "angry voice" came out too. I told them to "get out". Alivya went screaming into the living room, while Taylor stood there, too stunned to move, I think. I grabbed all the towels I cold find the kitchen, said many choice words, that I am sure they won't be repeating since they were in such shock. I pointed to the stairs and shouted, "UP STAIRS, TO BED NOW". Usually they sort of look at us, pout and shout right back, "NO". Not today, they both marched right to the stairs. I pulled off their clothes, wiped them down with a bath towel and repeated my very direct order. I have never seen them scramble up those stairs so fast. Crying and sobbing they definitely knew how upset I was. They marched right into their room, climbed up on the bed, and even laid down to be changed and redressed. This type of cooperation is unheard of around here.
Thankfully, this all occurred right at their usual nap time. So it wasn't a shock that they were being sent to bed. And to say that mommy needed a time out is an understatement. Mommy needs a major vacation... Six towels later, half a bottle of conditioner was no longer on my children, their toys, table or the floor. And thankfully, I hadn't washed the last load of laundry just yet either. It seems that I am out a half a bottle of conditioner, some serious patience, and one major parenting meltdown...
Days like today remind me why babies and toddlers (for that matter) are so cute...
So this afternoon I was working on the computer in the living room while the kids played in the playroom. For those of you who don't know our home, our first floor is fairly open, the front foyer wraps around the stairs into the living/dinning room, which is overlooked by the kitchen which leads right into the "play" room (future library) which flows right back into the foyer. Its a big circle around the stairs. Anyway, I am sitting there in the living/dinning room, while kids are playing a dozen or so feet away, when I hear them start whining. This is always a sure sign that one of them was playing with something that the other wants/wanted/had... I call out to Livi, who was almost screaming in tears, "come to Mommy, come tell me what's wrong..."
Soaking up all the sympathy possible, she comes up to me sobbing, red faced with tears streaming down. I bent down to pick her up when I touched something gooey all over her shirt. A closer look, and I see that she is covered, head to toe in a white, gooey, viscus substance.
My "angry eyes" slipped right out of their little pocket and replaced my sympathetic, mommy loves you eyes... I picked her up and carried her back into the play room where I find Taylor more densely coated with stuff and holding the SMOKING GUN! Half a bottle of hair conditioner, that I purchased yesterday since I was out, was now smeared over my children, their toys, their art table, and the carpet.
This is when I completely lost it, and my "angry voice" came out too. I told them to "get out". Alivya went screaming into the living room, while Taylor stood there, too stunned to move, I think. I grabbed all the towels I cold find the kitchen, said many choice words, that I am sure they won't be repeating since they were in such shock. I pointed to the stairs and shouted, "UP STAIRS, TO BED NOW". Usually they sort of look at us, pout and shout right back, "NO". Not today, they both marched right to the stairs. I pulled off their clothes, wiped them down with a bath towel and repeated my very direct order. I have never seen them scramble up those stairs so fast. Crying and sobbing they definitely knew how upset I was. They marched right into their room, climbed up on the bed, and even laid down to be changed and redressed. This type of cooperation is unheard of around here.
Thankfully, this all occurred right at their usual nap time. So it wasn't a shock that they were being sent to bed. And to say that mommy needed a time out is an understatement. Mommy needs a major vacation... Six towels later, half a bottle of conditioner was no longer on my children, their toys, table or the floor. And thankfully, I hadn't washed the last load of laundry just yet either. It seems that I am out a half a bottle of conditioner, some serious patience, and one major parenting meltdown...
Days like today remind me why babies and toddlers (for that matter) are so cute...
Censorship
I created this blog over three years ago so that friends and family who live all over the country could be in touch with what is going on in our lives. Generally speaking, Julie and I are fairly open people, however since announcing our quadruplet pregnancy, we have incurred some unwanted attention here. We have been, and remain excited to share with people the stories of our tiny miracles, all six of them. We will, however, be taking advantage of comment moderation hence forth. Please take this as a friendly reminder that you are all our guests, and the topics on this blog are and will continue to be very sensitive to us. We welcome your suggestions, support, and thoughts, however we would appreciate it if you would keep this in mind before posting something that might be offensive to us, our children, or our family.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
11 Weeks
Compared to our last pregnancy, even with quads, this pregnancy is just flying by... and flawlessly. I have had no nausea, no bleeding, no cramping, no needles or nasty progesterone suppositories. It has been a breeze. As we approach the second trimester... I know that things are bound to get at least a little bit hairy.
I spoke with our high risk OB from Chicago yesterday. After reviewing our ultrasound from the 2nd (I guess you're going to have to harass my dear hubby if you want to see those pics...) anyway, after reviewing the ultrasound, he would like to do an amniocentesis. First trimester amnios are referred to sometimes as "early" amnios, and are associated with some significant risks of miscarriage due to the fact that it is the first trimester. It is his opinion that the reassurances we would gain from the test are worth the risks. Roughly a week later, we will have another ultrasound to confirm that things are as they left them, and they will place a cervical cerclage. A cerclage is a stitch placed around the cervix to keep it from opening prematurely (and thus allowing the bag of water to protrude out, eventually causing premature rupture of the sac... sound familiar?) The cerclage will be placed under spinal anesthesia (similar to an epidural, except that there is no catheter to deliver more medication) and is actually what I was given for my twin's C-section. The placement carries the usual risks associated with spinal anesthesia, infection of the site, and of course miscarriage (related to both accidentally catching a sac and causing preterm contractions leading to labor). The earlier the cerclage is placed, the less risk to the membranes, and to a certain extent, labor.
While both procedures present risks to our tiny quads, it seems to us that these risks are smaller than the likelihood of rupturing early, hospitalized bed rest, and preterm delivery. The worst case scenario is that we loose the whole pregnancy. While this is devastating, the alternative of four tiny babies born before viability or slightly thereafter is at least equally frightening to us. Taylor and Alivya have taught us value of taking every day for what it is, and not looking too far into the future. While it is comforting to know that we are doing something, it is terrifying to weigh all the risks. The warnings about spontaneous miscarriage or miscarriage caused by these procedures have been well taken, but the reality of a positive outcome being 1 to 4 live healthy babies born as close to full term as possible is our primary focus as we make decisions that we think are in the best interest of all of us.
So as we venture on a new and different journey, one of hope and promise, please send your good thoughts that the next month or so goes as uneventfully as possible.
I spoke with our high risk OB from Chicago yesterday. After reviewing our ultrasound from the 2nd (I guess you're going to have to harass my dear hubby if you want to see those pics...) anyway, after reviewing the ultrasound, he would like to do an amniocentesis. First trimester amnios are referred to sometimes as "early" amnios, and are associated with some significant risks of miscarriage due to the fact that it is the first trimester. It is his opinion that the reassurances we would gain from the test are worth the risks. Roughly a week later, we will have another ultrasound to confirm that things are as they left them, and they will place a cervical cerclage. A cerclage is a stitch placed around the cervix to keep it from opening prematurely (and thus allowing the bag of water to protrude out, eventually causing premature rupture of the sac... sound familiar?) The cerclage will be placed under spinal anesthesia (similar to an epidural, except that there is no catheter to deliver more medication) and is actually what I was given for my twin's C-section. The placement carries the usual risks associated with spinal anesthesia, infection of the site, and of course miscarriage (related to both accidentally catching a sac and causing preterm contractions leading to labor). The earlier the cerclage is placed, the less risk to the membranes, and to a certain extent, labor.
While both procedures present risks to our tiny quads, it seems to us that these risks are smaller than the likelihood of rupturing early, hospitalized bed rest, and preterm delivery. The worst case scenario is that we loose the whole pregnancy. While this is devastating, the alternative of four tiny babies born before viability or slightly thereafter is at least equally frightening to us. Taylor and Alivya have taught us value of taking every day for what it is, and not looking too far into the future. While it is comforting to know that we are doing something, it is terrifying to weigh all the risks. The warnings about spontaneous miscarriage or miscarriage caused by these procedures have been well taken, but the reality of a positive outcome being 1 to 4 live healthy babies born as close to full term as possible is our primary focus as we make decisions that we think are in the best interest of all of us.
So as we venture on a new and different journey, one of hope and promise, please send your good thoughts that the next month or so goes as uneventfully as possible.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
10 Weeks
We had an ultrasound on Tuesday, we also met with a high risk OB at the hospital on the Northwestern campus near Chicago. All the babies appear to be growing appropriately. They all had good heartbeats and were squirming around like crazy. The one they called baby "C" was not very cooperative. He/she would not sit still long enough for them to snap a good picture.
As for the OB, he had some interesting things to tell us. After reading my records and listening to how we described what happened with Taylor and Alivya, he strongly believes that Taylor's rupture was caused by incompetent cervix. None of the 4 different OB doctors I have seen since then has offered us any explanation, let alone one that is actually treatable. He was very positive and had no reason to believe that a more positive outcome can't be achieved this time. Armed with his thoughts we have some decisions to make about who we will see and how to go about everything, but overall I think it was a really informative day.
Hopefully Jon will scan the pics and have them up this weekend sometime.
As for the OB, he had some interesting things to tell us. After reading my records and listening to how we described what happened with Taylor and Alivya, he strongly believes that Taylor's rupture was caused by incompetent cervix. None of the 4 different OB doctors I have seen since then has offered us any explanation, let alone one that is actually treatable. He was very positive and had no reason to believe that a more positive outcome can't be achieved this time. Armed with his thoughts we have some decisions to make about who we will see and how to go about everything, but overall I think it was a really informative day.
Hopefully Jon will scan the pics and have them up this weekend sometime.
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