TWiP Contest

I have linked to these guys before for the exact same reason. I would love a DROBO!

www.twipphoto.com

Alivya Boogie

I have been meaning to publish this for a while. It was taken at a Wedding we went to in September. It rocks!

Tickers

I thought I would address the ticker question in a post since I know that some of our readers do not see the comments...

So, the question was asked, "why does the ticker at the top of your page say you have different amount of days to go than your widget at the side??"

The answer is that I keep the awesome ticker on the side because it reminds me that even though I am still relatively non-pregnant looking, there are tons of amazing things going on inside. I like to see how they have progressed from these little tad pole like alien creatures, to tiny human looking beings. I guess I also like how I can customize the ticker to include our name... What I don't like is that it assumes that you will carry the baby to full term. In our case, we know that we will not make it to 37 weeks, as my previous incision poses a significant risk of uterine rupture. The doctors have already told us that they will begin amnio testing of lung maturity some where around 34 weeks, and will deliver me as soon as they feel it is "safe" to do so. They will not let us go past 36 weeks. Therefore, the ticker on the top allows me to input my due date for the calculation of "how many weeks along I am", but lets me input the anticipated delivery date for the "how many days left". This reminds me that I don't have as far to go as most ladies, and gives me a more realistic impression of where I actually am in my pregnancy.

For those of you who don't know me beyond this blog (and maybe for those who do... I am not really sure how well I hide this side of me) I am an EXTREMELY inpatient person. If I am going to bother wanting something, I would like to have it yesterday. While I really do know that I do NOT want these babies any sooner than they must come, the anticipation kills me. So the tickers are here for everyone, but mostly they are here to keep me grounded :( Jon can vouch for this...

Well, I should get to bed, the morning comes earlier and earlier it seems.

Dancing Queen

So Jon downloaded a whole bunch of photos from the camera yesterday, and I figured out where he has been hiding them :) Yea me! Anyway, this post will be mostly photos to catch up for all the months of me saying, "maybe Jon will post____".

The first couple are of my little dancing queen, who knew this kid had in her. These are, remarkably, some of the better photos we got of her that night since she simply didn't stop moving most of the night!

From Twins 08

From Twins 08

From Twins 08

She danced with people we didn't even know, sat on chairs next to people we didn't really know, and even got them to come out and dance too... watch out United Nations!

The next photo is from one of my grossest, yet perhaps funniest posts: Painting with Poo

From Twins 08

While staring at this picture... think of the smell of your stinkiest business... then you will have a better idea of just how disgusting this was! Don't miss all the little black spots on the floor and beds, that's poo too!

From Twins 08

This is a photo Jon took in reference to this post Wave of Light.

From Twins 08

So while I did not take the photo posted with on my Blimp post, I did take this picture of the blimp I saw. I took this photo standing on my backyard patio. I might have gotten a little bit too excited about this, but unlike so many things, I had never seen a real blimp before. So I still think it was pretty special.

From Twins 08

This is a photo of our Willow tree we planted last year. I think it has quadrupled in size. It is actually the perfect tree for our needs. We have one area in our backyard that is totally open to our neighbor's backyard, when this tree is fully grown, it will fill in that space perfectly. Our backyard also has a large cavern at the bottom of a big hill that fills will water when it rains. Since Willows love water, this is a perfect place to grow one. For those of you who are not willow fans, well, we think they are really beautiful, and since our backyard is sort of a man made ravine, it works.

And now for the photos everyone has been asking for like all year long... pics of the twins...

From Twins 08

From Twins 08

Please don't ask me what happened to these "babies", I am still trying to work that out for myself!

From Twins 08

Remember that kid that we were not sure would walk?

From Twins 08

Who would have thought?

From Twins 08

So much for "severe mental and physical handicaps".

From Twins 08

I guess mixing bowl helmets will protect them from now on!

From Twins 08

From Twins 08

Hopefully everyone enjoyed this post, my apologies for my neglect... and now my little monkeys are too quiet to be doing something they are supposed to be.

Catching up

These are the last ultrasound pics of all four babies.

From Quad twins

From Quad twins

From Quad twins

From Quad twins

These are the two most recent pictures of the surviving twins.

From Quad twins

From Quad twins

Blimp

Obviously I did not take this photo, however, I just saw this blimp flying past my house... maybe Jon will post the photo that I did take (which is not nearly this good... obviously). I have never seen a blimp before, so this was pretty cool for me.

Did you hear an echo?

This morning when I walked into the kid's room to get them dressed for the day, I was greeted by my children each exclaiming "Hi Mom!". After which Alivya informed me that the colors of my shirt where blue and purple, green, pink and white... I have no clue why she started to tell me the color of my shirt every morning, but she does. It her game, I guess. Taylor then assisted me with getting the child proof lock off their dresser so that I could get them some clothing, and when I sat down on his bed and said "whose first?", they both ran as far from me as possible. This was a really typical morning. For some reason, they just don't like to get dressed. Livi, in fact, usually tells me that she is going nigh-night, instead of getting dressed.

So after coaxing each of them to the bed and laying them down, they finally give in. This morning I was then serenaded by Livi as she sang Two Little Monkeys, ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Frere Jacques. Most of these she sang almost perfectly, Frere Jacques was totally adorable, but not quite there... I don't know when she learned these things, in fact during our language group sessions, they both tell me "no singing". So I was lead to believe that my children simply didn't like music... Au Contrare... Taylor hasn't really tried singing with me yet, but asks for the various songs frequently as of recent times. And this morning, Livi just started singing. It was absolutely one of her cutest moments. Everyday I am amazed at just how much she has learned, and how much more she learns daily. Her aptitude is incredible.

To this end I was doomed, I guess: the kids demanded to go "bye-bye" after breakfast this morning, and since I had some shopping to do, I thought "why not?" So I am trying to heard them both into the car, which is more difficult than it may seem... they both get very distracted by all the "fun" stuff in our garage. Anyway, I got Taylor to stand in the car, and reached for Alivya, in the meantime, Taylor moved around to the front of the seat, so Livi could not get to her seat. Under breath, I thought, I mumbled "damn it Taylor"... The next thing I heard was Livi screaming "Damn it Taylor!" "Oh boy", I said, and there it was again... "Oh boy" echoed Alivya... This continued all the way to the store... it wasn't just Alivya either. At one point Livi found it entertaining to kick my seat, and I said "All done kicking, Alivya!" "All done kick-ing Ivya" echoed Taylor. It was one of those moments that you know are coming, but do not necessarily realize are happening at the moment.

Pin Cusions and more

I am going back to work today, after having two weeks off for my surgery. It feels a little weird. I wonder just how much I have forgotten, and how much has changed... The funny part is that my schedule is such that I work tonight, then I have off again until next Friday... haha.

I feel pretty good. I had a regular OB appointment yesterday, he listened to the babies, measured my stomach, stuck a big needle in my arm, and scheduled four more appointments. Then sent me on my way. You wouldn't think by these appointments that I am just weeks away from the moment that changed everything about my last pregnancy. I know that I have the cerclage, meant to prevent what happened last time, but I expected to be more closely monitored. Our next ultrasound will be at 20 weeks (and a few days), Taylor's water broke at 20 weeks. The thought of getting to that point uneventfully is a lot to swallow. I mean its exciting, and terrifying at the same time.

Anyway, the heartbeats were 155 and 150 yesterday, and I measured exactly what he expected, although he didn't tell me the number (I am generally ok with that ;)

Last night we participated in Wave of Light . Please click the link to learn more about it. It was both comforting and heartbreaking. For an hour it was like having our babies here again, but extinguishing the flames was a little like loosing them all over again. I miss being the one expecting quads. I miss the idea of watching them all learn to crawl and walk and sing ABCs. Still, I know that their loss will make it possible for these babies to thrive, maybe even get to "full term". And for that, they live on.

Now that I have myself blubbering again, I think I will leave it here.

Needing Needles.....

I write really long posts... when I write... do the two cancel each other out?

We started 17P yesterday. I spent a few hours, while trying to fall asleep last night, thinking about how elaborately I would describe for you this experience, but this is how my posts end up being books. So I guess I will suffice it to say that it was as bad as the progesterone injects during my first pregnancy, but as good as Jon has ever been, armed with a 1.5 inch needle aimed at my butt.

As for my recovery from the anesthesia, well, my back is just starting to feel normal. I can get up from the couch with out a lot of pain, just a little discomfort. I had a bad headache again yesterday, but seems better today. Looking forward to my post op check on Wednesday, and listening to the babies again... Its been a long week, and I am looking forward to times when no more holes will be added to my body.

"My name Stitch"

Says the "abomination" from Disney-Pixar's hit movie Stitch. Sometime around a month or so ago, Livi became obsessed with Jon's stuffed Stitch animal, and demanded to watch the movie... over and over again, we watched aliens invade poor Lilo's house... now days Livi has moved on to another movie. Supercalofrada... well what is the point of attempting to spell it? Most of you already know that Mary Poppins has made her march into my TV. With a Spoon Full of Sugar and a Step in Time, we have watched this movie several times already this week alone. This movie is one I adored at Livi's age too, however, as an adult, with exception of a few good tunes, I find it sort of boring. (and looooong) Anyway, this post wasn't supposed to be about Mary Poppins, it was supposed to be about Stitch...

Not the "cute and fluffy" alien being from the movie, but the wire that now holds in its weave the future of this pregnancy. Monday morning Jon woke me before the crack of dawn and we drove off to the surgery center. After registering, Jon kissed me and went off to work. He only started working for his company in March, and while they have been super about all our appointments to date, we agreed that this little procedure really would not require his presence. Anyway, this started my ride on the conveyor belt known as "Day or outpatient surgery".

After exchanging my cloths for a thick paper gown, I was lead to a reclining chair where I was plugged into a vacuum that blew warm air into the "gown". One nurse put in my IV while another took my life history. At one point I considered reposing the questions back to her... "When was your last bowel movement?" Some how I didn't think she would have found the humor in it. The doctor, the anesthesiologist, and my ride home all checked in, then it was time. I waddled down the cold hall in my paper gown and hospital grade slippers with the rubber no slide grips on the bottom. One attractive outfit, I assure you.

The spinal block was the part that I was really looking forward to. A long time ago, before I had any babies, I vowed that I would never get an epidural. This had less to do with my "hippi" natural birth values than it had to do with my fear of needles and tubes being shoved into my spinal column. I didn't manage to avoid this with my first pregnancy, nor was it avoided already in this pregnancy. It took three tries in order to place the spinal block for my surgery. This was as horrible as I had remembered it. Within minutes my legs were heavy and prickly, and I was being hoisted back onto the table. I never actually saw the contraption that they put me in, but it felt like my feet where hanging from straps in the ceiling. This incredibly flattering view was left for anyone who entered the room as it faced the doors. I laid there feeling like that door opened and closed a thousand times, although I can't actually say that it even opened once for certain. By the time I finally made it to recovery, I was pretty anxious to be done with the whole thing. My legs muscles where eager to move and my back had had enough. I watched my heart rate increase steadily on the monitor as I became panicked that my body wanted to move, but couldn't. I heard the recovery nurse tell the other ladies at the desk that "she can only move her toe, she'll be here a while". This only made it worse. I kept wiggling that toe viciously, hoping to wake up the rest of my body. While I think the strategy worked some, it did not work much more quickly. By 9am I was moved to the other side of recovery. Here they finally let me roll to the side to relieve the pressure on my back, thank God! Sometime around 10:30 they decided that I should sit with my legs over the edge, and after that things moved very very quickly. A minute or so later I was standing, then walking to the bathroom. I think they were eager to move me on, as being able to "void" (pee) was equivalent to sitting on the toilet while urine dribbled out... If I hadn't heard it as it hit the water, I would have insisted that it never happened... still numb. None the less, the nurse helped me put on my clothes. She helped me sit on the recliner, and sent my ride to get the car. Five minutes later I was rolling down the hall with the rest of my things in tote.

Walking into the house around 11:30am, I was pretty weak, but steady. By 1:30 I had a pounding headache, and by 4 when Jon returned home from work, I was convinced something was wrong. I asked him to Google "spinal headache"... sure enough that is exactly what was going on. When I laid down, I felt only a dull pain, when I got up, my head pounded. The Tylenol I began taking when it first started didn't even dull the pain for a minute. Jon went out and got some soda with caffeine, a remedy recommended by the internet. This helped take the edge off, for a little bit. By 7pm, I was in tears. Jon helped me to bed were I slept better than I had expected to.

Sometime around 7am I got up to use the bathroom. I was hoping that the headache had resolved itself, and this was really my first trial. I was encouraged by the fact that I felt good all the way to the toilet. I sat down, and just then it hit. Like a really big hammer striking my head I got nauseous and dizzy, and just about fell over. I am not sure how I made it back to bed. The pain was unbearable. My mom arrived a short time later to take care of the kids, she gave me my phone, and I called Jon. After a number of calls and some time, Jon's dad arrived around 9:30 to take me back to the hospital. The cure to a "spinal" headache is known as a "blood patch". Essentially, a catheter is placed in the spinal column, just like an epidural, then blood is drawn from your arm and placed into the spinal canal through the catheter. The idea is that the spinal block from surgery on Monday must have left a tiny hole that allowed some CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) to leak out, causing a pressure imbalance, thus felt as a major headache. The blood, in theory, plugs the tiny hole(s) and clots, restoring the pressure balance in the spinal canal.

This is all well and good, but remember it took him three tries to get the catheter placed for the surgery, this blood patch was equally as difficult. After three tries, he called in another anesthesiologist to help out. I consider myself fairly tolerant of pain, in fact I had been able to breath through everything up to that point. Between the headache and all the needles in my back, I just broke down. I was sobbing, totally lost focus, and couldn't breath. The nurse and doctor kept telling me to arch my back, which is what I thought I was doing. It was absolutely awful. Once it was finally placed, and the blood was drawn and put back, things got better quickly.

I was home again by 12:30, I think. My back was so sore and I so exhausted, I am not really sure what time it was. Things gradually improved, although my back felt very bruised and sore, and continues to today. At least my head feels sharp, and I have felt no pain what so ever at the actual surgical site. Hopefully, the rest of this pregnancy can proceed through March with no more major interventions needed... Here is hoping.

Left... Right, Left Right, Left...

Did you all vote?

After we had the twins, we were of course thankful for the doctors, nurses, RTs, radiology techs and all the support staff who came to work every day to save tiny babies like ours. What was less obvious, were the tireless efforts of the staff and volunteers of many organizations working to fund the research that lead to the clinical practices that made it possible for our children to thrive. (Not to mention those researchers...) My work since then with the March of Dimes is my small way of giving back. All of our children benefited from the March of Dimes funded research that lead to the recommendation to increase folic acid intake and other prenatal recommendations. Taylor and Livi's success since their untimely birth can be credited to a number of MOD projects. Surfactant, a synthetic substance that mimics a natural fluid produced by older gestation babies to allow the lungs to remain expanded and therefore exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide... minimal oxygen supplementation, use of too much oxygen in early babies can cause retinal detachment... high frequency ventilation, ventilators that deliver hundreds of tiny quick breaths to help preemies blow off carbon dioxide a task preemies struggle with... NO, this is probably the most profound benefit that I attribute to MOD funded research; Taylor was unable to maintain appropriate oxygen saturation on 100% oxygen on the high frequency ventilator immediately after birth. Nitrous Oxide was mixed into his oxygen in a small quantity. With out this treatment, he would not have survived his first night. The neonatologist who made the decision to try this emerging treatment did so knowing that there were risks (nitrous oxide, a vaso dilator, could have made Taylor's brain bleed worse, causing more severe brain damage), but saved his life.

For two years, these were my main motivators for supporting the March of Dimes, now I have even more...

Next week I will begin weekly injections of a drug called 17 alphahydroxyprogesterone (P17) MOD funded research since my twins were born, suggests that weekly injections of this drug can prevent premature labor from occurring for up to 16 weeks. Monday I will have a cervical cerclage placed to prevent what some doctors believe may have contributed significantly to Taylor's premature membrane rupture, incompetent or insufficient cervix.

The awesome part of all this is that I know just how women and babies benefit from the work of the March of Dimes. The hard part, is that most of these things are newer concepts and doctors are challenged to decide for themselves what the research means. So we have seen three obstetricians for this pregnancy, and none of them have agreed on everything. For example, one said he would not use the P17 injections, this being because the research is not strong for effectiveness in multiple gestation pregnancies. One said they would check for fetal fibronectin weekly... another says that this test is costly and would not change their treatment plan... So all of this leaves us in the position of trying to decide who has the plan that we think is the most "correct". Which doctor has more experience and better interpretation of the research that MOD has helped make available?

I think that I have a pretty good grasp of medical concepts and good background in the our medical system, but choosing which doctor to go with for this pregnancy has been the most stressful one ever. So for those of you who have asked where we might have the babies... the answer is St Elizabeth OR Theda Clark... we just haven't figured this out yet.

In the meantime, my surgery is on Monday, wish me luck. I had an ultrasound on Wed. Both babies looked great. Hopefully Jon will post the images over the weekend.

Please support the March of Dimes, they really do help make miracles!

Squidoo

I must confess that I have no idea what Squidoo is, but as one of my fellow bloggers wrote, they are giving $2.00 per vote to the organization you vote for. It is really simple... just click on the link below, then scroll down and select a charity. When you've made your selection, click vote.

squidoo vote

You all know that we are partial to the March of Dimes, so please please take just a second to go there and send another vote to the March of Dimes!

Thanks!