NYE

I guess I wasn't having a good brain day today... I kept seeing this abbreviation listed everywhere... NYE...

I thought to myself, what in the heck is NYE?  Haha, New years eve... duh

So today is NYE 2011!  I had to work most of it, but still managed to line up some good friends to ring in the new year.  After work, we played Pandemic, with turns out to be a pretty difficult strategy based cooperative board game.  We lost two games.  Then Jon and the gang played Halo... just not my thing.  We counted down to midnight, drank some wine (well they did anyway) and toasted in the new year with Mimosas!  

And we finished off the last of the big Birthday cake for this year (Yeah, less to add to my tush!)

Livi really wanted butterflies and Taylor wanted Bullseye, so I did my best to incorporate the two.  And, I got to learn a new skill, caramelizing sugar and making sugar glass.  Super fun!

Happy Birthday Tay and Liv

Six years ago today I woke up at the crack of dawn and my world changed forever.  

Taylor was born at 2:27pm.  He was tiny and sick weighing only 2 pounds 3 ounces, and has grown into such a wonderful, smart, inquisitive young boy. 

Alivya was born at 2:30pm.  She was even tinier than her twin at 1pound 14 ounces, but she was stable and given extremely good chances of survival.  Today Liv is quick as whip when picking up reading and writing.  She loves being praised for her good work.  She is beautiful, talented, and so very polite. 

I can't believe some days that six years has pasted already.  I still mourn for that "perfect", "normal" baby I never had, but at the same time I can't imagine not being the Mommy to these two amazing kids.  Every little milestone reminds me that someone once told me to give up, and I am so grateful that I took the risk instead.  I think sometimes that the decision should have come with more contemplation, but the reality for us was that this was our only option.  There was no room in my mindset that allowed for anything else. I do know that we are very fortunate that things turned out as they did and not far worse.  Given everything I know today, I still think I would have made the same decisions.  

Happy Birthday kids, I love you so much!

Christmas take two

Having Christmas with the Massey's!

Taylor is still hoping for a computer with lots of chords.

Vomitorium... yuck

So glad yesterday was a "quiet" day, cause today is NOT!

Jon went to bed last night feeling "weird", and woke up vomiting in the middle of the night.  He has been violently vomiting ever since.  Combine that with the diarrhea, and I'm just so thrilled (sarcasm implied) that he took the day off (vacation day several weeks ago).  Liv woke me up around six telling me she needed to vomit too.  I left her quarantined with her Daddy and got Ava and Wes up and ready to go.  Got back from dropping them off at daycare, and guess who came down to tell me that he vomited all over his bed...  yep, Taylor.  

So recap, Jon, Alivya, Taylor, all sick and vomiting. 

Leaves just me here who is not sick... yet anyway...  

Ran to Walmart to get some sick people stuff... soup, crackers, gatorade.  

Bleached my bathrooms, mopped up tons of vomit.  Third load of laundry going in now.  

Yeah me!

Quiet Day

Today was a "quiet" day for me.  This is good cause I've been tired.  We had to pay for two days of daycare, so I decided to use them.  Ava and Wes went to "school" where they played with their "friends" and drove someone else crazy.  Jon went to work, so it was just me and Taylor and Livi here at home.  I use quotes around quiet because it wasn't very quiet in the house.  I just didn't have eighteen places to go. I did manage to fold and put away four loads of laundry, hang some cool wall art given to the kids by a friend of ours, fix the rocking chair and donate a trunk load of toys etc to Goodwill.  I call that productive enough.  

Taylor and Livi were both

1. unhappy that Santa didn't bring them a computer with lots of chords and binoculars (respectively)

and

2. bored

I will never understand it. 

They got some color by number kits from Santa.  Half way through the first one (each) they couldn't possibly do anymore coloring and begged for help from mom.  Livi's I could understand a little, she was coloring a Princess and the Frog scene where there was a gate behind the princess.  It was a little bit too intricate for her.  Taylor just wanted it done faster.  

They fought over everything.  

They fought me over everything... I said, "get dressed" 

"But Mom!"  ~Taylor

Livi just put on a pout face.  This is becoming a permanent expression on her face as everything in life upsets her. 

Then there is Alphie...

Parents out there... DON'T BUY ALPHIE!

Balloon Dance

When Taylor and Liv were Wes and Ava's age now, they both desperately wanted Santa to bring them balloons for Christmas.  Ever since, Santa always brings balloons for Christmas.  I guess Santa knows that balloons are the gift that keeps on giving (well until they pop or fall). 

This year Santa brought a pink balloon for our very own Pinkalicious... Alivya, a blue balloon for T, a purple balloon for Ava, and a yellow balloon for Wes.  Oddly enough, Santa tied the strings so that the balloons are relatively the same heights as the children.  This makes them perfect punching bags, their true purpose in being if you ask Wes.  

As you can see in the video, Wes is really into the Balloon. 

Merry Christmas!!

Today was a long and exciting day!  We woke up around 7:30 this morning, dressed and fed the kids, and  headed out for Grandma's house.  We arrived around nine and began the task.  Sad that opening gifts sometimes feels like a task, but with four children, nearly everything feels like a task!

Anyway, we enjoyed watching the kids as they opened gifts.  Taylor rolled his eyes and said, "Oh its another box!!!!" while opening every gift!  He also stated before every present that he hoped it was "a computer with lots of chords!" Poor guy was a little disappointed.  I hope he can see beyond his disappointment and enjoy the gifts that Santa,  Grandma K, and his Aunts and Uncles gave him.  

Liv was more excited about the wrapping part, or unwrapping rather.  She wrapped one open, and was immediately ready for the next.  Needless to say, it was a big lesson in patience and waiting.  Overall they did very well. 

Taylor and Livi were most excited about a gift from their Aunt Sonja and Uncle Greg... a matching pair of head lamps for camping!  Definitely think this was the gift of the year!  

Ava and Wes were very much into unwrapping this year.  I think Ava understood better the concept that there was something inside for her to play with.  They both got really wore out and by noon they needed some food and sleep.  Not surprisingly, they refused to sleep at Grandma's house, and ended up needing to go home for a nap.  Consequently, we ended up finishing the gift opening without them and doing some more for them later.  The vid here was taken after opening the last present, and probably Ava and Wes' favorite!  The rocking Crock!

After this all the kids were nestled back in their beds for a long Christmas sleep while the adults watched the Packer/Bear game.

14-1, pretty proud of my team!

Merry Christmas blogger family, I hope yours was as good as ours!

1 St Day

Happy Christmas Eve!

Today was my first day back at work after being off for my surgery since November 6th.  I almost can't believe it has been so long.  

I am very grateful that the day was steady but not too busy.  After 10 hours at work, I joined my family at the in law's house for a fabulous dinner and some good conversation.  Looking forward to seeing the fat man in the red suit!

Christmas break

Christmas break, for the children, started just over twenty four hours ago.  I feel like a zombie.  Please tell me the fog will lift before the break is over?  If not, it is going to be a really long two weeks!  How is it that children think adults are around to provide them with constant entertainment?  I know what I sound like, and yes I am having trouble with the fact, but here goes....

When I was a kid....

I spent my time finding things to entertain myself.  I found plenty of mischief, yes, definitely.  I never begged and bugged my parents constantly all day long to provide more substantial entertainment.  I can't even imagine what my father would have said to me.  I can't even turn not he TV and expect that to keep them entertained for  a short time.  AHHHHHHH!

Ok, I'm done.  When the kids are behaving, entertaining themselves with quiet approved activities, it can be quite pleasant.  This is a video of Wes playing our piano...  no he has not had any formal training ;)

Polar Express

The kindergarteners in the family got a special ride yesterday, on the Polar Express!  They got to wear their pajamas to school and bring a special stuffed friend on their adventure!  What an awesome experience!

Taylor was really upset with me when I dropped him off at school. I looked up in the rear view mirror and saw his big pout lip. "Taylor?" I said, "What is wrong?"
"I just wanted to go to the North Pole!!!" he pouted at me.
This is when I realized that he really thought I was driving him to the North Pole. I felt bad. He knows the Polar Express movie really well, he loves the train in it. So we really thought they would understand the reference. I do think he still enjoyed himself though. He told me that now he wants a bell from Santa's sleigh for Christmas. No tall order...

On the lap

Look who sat on Santa's lap this year...  and didn't cry!?  I'm so proud of Taylor!  

Poopinator

So yesterday Taylor had a BM accident at school.  After school as I waited for them to get buckled up, I started my usual "where do we put our poop?"discussion.  When suddenly Alivya asks Taylor if he would like her to tell him a story.  He gets all excited and shouts "YES!" 

Alivya: Once upon a time, there was an old witch.  She lived in the forest and peed all over.  She was the poopinator!

Taylor: The POOPinator!?!

Alivya: hahaha, yeah, the POOPinator!

Taylor: and did she poop all over? 

Alivya: she pooped on the floor and the chairs and the table and the grass....

I didn't hear the end of this story, but I sure hope that the moral was that she should poop in her toilet!

Flat Tire

This morning as I drove Ava and Wes to daycare, a light on my dashboard that I didn't recognize lit up.  I had noticed a funny noise before I noticed the light, but with Ava and Wes "singing" in the back seat...  I thought maybe I was hearing things.  When I stopped, I walked around the van, and sure enough, I had a flat tire.  I would like to know why these things don't happen when Jon is actually around...? 

Thankfully the daycare director happened to be walking back into the building when I pulled in, and saw my situation.  He agreed to help me, though I think we were a little like the blind leading the blind.  In time, we did manage to find the spare, retrieve the spare, and replace the flat with the spare.  This was all a bigger feat than it sounds like it should have been.  

After I dropped Taylor and Liv off at school, I drove to the closest auto place.  There I was told that the tire could not be saved.  They also told me that all the tires looked worn.  Damn.  

We agreed to have the tires replaced, and went ahead with the work.  I went for a walk and came back about an hour later (about the time they told me it would take...) Then they told me that it might need an alignment $60, and new brake pads on the front.  Totaling almost $700.  I don't know how these mechanics sleep at night.  Three hours after I arrived I finally left.  

HUGE BIG SIGH!

Only ONE game

Seriously friends, its only ONE game.  Loosing just one game (of 14) is still GOOD... Yeah, its a disappointment, but its not the end of our season.  Gosh I can remember being 7-7 and still being excited about a chance at a playoff birth.  One loss is not the end.  I would rather have the sports people harp on how terrible our team played today than the fact that they lost a game.  Lets talk about how none of our offensive line could complete a pass to save their souls.  Lets talk about how the Chiefs ran like the wind and what the H happened to our defense!  Let the perfect season dreams die, as they were only dreams to begin with! 

And for the love, lets talk about what we are going to do to play better on Christmas day!

The fat man in the Red Suit

Ava-isms

Ava has some serious personality.  I tell everyone that she is the "boss", and that is because she thinks that she is "the boss"!  Ava hates having her hair brushed and/or styled. She cries big crocodile tears before the brush even touches her hair.  It is true that it probably hurts some, since she is an expert at caking food stuff into her hair.  Yogurt, applesauce, syrup, PB, everything gets shared with her hair.  She also drool a lot in her sleep.  So every morning her hair is caked with dried drool, and these days... snot...  sorry for the mental image, but its true.  I could bathe her twice a day and she would still have stuff in her hair.  So a few days ago I pulled out the brush and insisted that we should "fix" her hair, and I was shocked when she came right over and said, "you make it really cute!"

Who was this child!?!

Ava loves to show off what she knows.  She has been running around labeling all the Christmas memorabilia as she learns what it is.  This includes but is not at all limited to any and all Christmas trees, lights, stockings, snowmen, and santa claus'.  So a few days ago, we had a friend stop by, and Ava (who I might point out is in the middle of her stranger danger stage) freaked out.  She was crying and refusing to look at them.  She buried her head into my chest and peeked out around her head through the side of her eyes, as if they couldn't see here if she couldn't see them.  When they left, I said, "Ava, what is wrong?" And she said, "I don't like it!!!!" A few minutes later, she said, "I don't like that Santa Claus!"  She though that our guest was Santa Claus!  

Ava used to join Wes' feeding group as a peer model.  This meaning that she was there so the other kiddos could see what and how a "normal" kid eats.  Ava loved feeding group, since there she got all the treats we never give them at home!  But when she started going to day care, she didn't want to leave when I went to pick up Wes, so she stopped coming.  This week she didn't have day care, and had to come along.  I was surprised that she was very reserved and shy at feeding group.  She needed extra prodding just to walk into the room.  She was shy about playing, and shy about eating.  It was very odd.  Eventually she warmed up and played and modeled as usual.  At the end of the group, they gave Ava and Wes two of the balloon that had been blown up for sensory play.  Ava was so attached to those darn balloons that she slept with one during her nap for the next two days!

Sickables

I do think that so far, we have been lucky.  Our illness in the house has been kept to a dull roar.  A few ear infections, mild colds, and headaches...  Yet, the worst is probably still to come. Last Friday Jon came home early from work, he had a stomach ache, body aches, and fatigue.  Fortunately, this lasted only that day, and by Saturday morning he was feeling good, or so he said.  Our girls seem to had a constant chronic nasty cough.  Mostly the cough is at night, though today Liv's went on constantly all day.  Jon came home early again from work today, but not because he was sick.  He chose to take the afternoon off to finish up our flooring project.  We all need to get things back to some level of normalcy.  As I helped him with this, I kept getting light headed when I would bend over.  So I decided that I shouldn't do anything that required me to bend over too much.  And we finished the project without incident.  We went to pick up the kids from day care, and I was feeling hungry, but suddenly I got the chills real bad.  By the time we got home, I had a wave of nausea, and a rising fever.  Weird how sudden it was. 

Jon gave me some Tylenol, and I laid on the couch.  When the medicine kicked in, I did begin to feel better, but I can only hope that I feel good again tomorrow.  

Cookie?

Wes' first cookie, Thanksgiving Day this year. 

Vids

Jon wanted to work on the baseboards in the kids rooms, so my job was to distract the kids so that he could:

1. Work uninterrupted

2. Not make Wes scream at the sound of his compressor/saw

3. Keep the kids safely away from his work.  

So, I gave Wes and Ava the iPad and Tay and Liv Wii controllers. 

As you can see, they were having great fun, even though they lost every round on every track.  Winning wasn't the point. 

Pain

Everyday since the day before I turned thirty, I have been reminded that I am not as young as I used to be.  Today, that is being hammered into my consciousness with every step.  My knees feel like jello, and just want to buckle under my weight.  Siring pain shoots up my legs with every move of them.  Clearly the work of ripping out carpet and laying flooring is not an activity that my body enjoys anymore.  :(

Laminant?

We dropped the kids off at Grandma M's house bright and early today.  I picked up Evan for some additional youthful hands, and we eagerly took to the plan.  Things in my room went rather smoothly.  Evan and I had the carpet and padding out by 10am, and the staples, tack strips and underlayment finished by noon.  Jon and Gerry, on the other hand, had a slower start.  I guess this isn't surprising though, since I was destructing while they were constructing.  The floor looks amazing though, and I am actually a little bit jealous.  

At the end of the day, both floors, for the most part, are laid.  The baseboards need to be placed and the new quarter round trim also needs to go down.  I was hoping to have everything done and all their junk out of my room, but these things always take longer than I plan for :(

Here comes Santa Claus

This morning we took the kids to breakfast with Santa Claus.  Yes, I do have pictures... but I didn't have a chance to download them from the camera yet.  Taylor was a little skidish, but did eventually go up and sit on Santa's lap.  Ava and Wes also sat on Santa's lap, Ava was super uber cautious, while Wes was totally fascinated by his beard.  Our breakfast was quick though, because Wes wanted nothing to do with all the people and space in the gym where it was hosted. This was okay for me though since it was really cold there.  

Pain in my

Back.

There is a serious pain in my back.  I have finally had enough of the issue with our cats relieving themselves in the kids rooms.  I haven't been able to figure out why they are doing this, but I sincerely think there is something about the carpet there that gives them the idea.  So the carpet has to go.  I spent this morning pulling out carpet, padding, staples, and carpet strips from the girls room.  Jon helped me remove all the furniture and junk from their room last night.  I think I pulled a major back muscle trying to get Ava's mattress out from the bottom bunk though.  So I asked Evan to come and help get the underlayment down.  Hopefully things will move quickly on Sunday when we are planning to lay the new laminate flooring. 

Orientation

Today was a day of little accomplishment.  I attended a mandatory departmental orientation for my nursing classes.  I could not imagine what they were planning to do with us from 9am to 4:30pm.  I was not alone in the opinion that our time was really wasted.  From 9am to 11am we sat in small groups while two instructors and six current first semester students answered questions and harped on their reality.  They frightened the crap out of most of the younger students in our group, bored the crap out of those of who are used to the demands of a busy life, repeated themselves constantly.  I get the need for them, but two hours was simply over kill.  Then we were given an hour long lunch, and told to meet at noon in a computer lab where we were given a four hour timed computer test.  Fortunately for me, I had studied a lot of those things for my GRE that I took in August, and some for my tutoree, so I actually was sort of prepared.  Still, a four hour test is a long time and deserves some prep.  Thankfully, I was able to complete it in 2.5 hours, cause it was really giving me a head ache. 

82%, good enough for me. 

Freeze

Today I spent my morning at the daycare with Wes and Ava.  I met a couple of Wes' therapists there so that I could see how he has been doing.  It was really very cool to watch him.  At the table I saw him initiate picking up the fork several times before he started getting upset about it.  This is very different from home, where he tends to be angry about us asking him to feed anything to himself.  Slowly, very slowly, this is improving at home as well.  

When he was finished eating, he leaped off the chair and made a mad dash for the other side of the room where the other kids (who had finished their breakfasts) were dancing to the "Freeze" song.  This song sings a little jingle that the kids dance to, then when it says "freeze" the kids are supposed to stop moving. After a few seconds the music starts again and the kids get their jiggles out.  None of my kids have ever really "got" the idea of the freeze song.  Of course, none of my kids are really fans of singing and dancing in front of other kids and especially in "public".  EXCEPT Wes.  Wes LOVES to dance, and he doesn't much care who sees him.  In fact, he loves it when other people dance with him.  So he made a mad dash over there, and started wiggling his cute tush and flapping his arms to the beat.  Then the music said "FREEZE", and Wes stopped moving stuck out his arms and yelled "FREEZE!" It was super awesome. Just amazing to see him totally comprehend and enjoy this sort of activity!  I was utterly perplexed.  

There is really nothing quite like the smile that it puts on his little face!

Kindergarten Musical

I am ashamed to admit it, but my kindergarteners LOVE the Wonder Pets :(

I assume it was the Wonder Pets who started this concept that I call "Kindergarten Musical".  It is a phenomena by which my children sing all of their words during play.  I blame the Wonder Pets because when I first noticed them doing it, all their "music" was sung to the same tune as the Wonder Pets theme song.  I can't bring myself to type it out for you for fear that it will get stuck in my head... thereby causing me to have suicidal ideations...  

Anyway, mercifully, their musical play has taken on new and different tunes, including but not limited to: Jingle Bells, Yo Gaba Gaba, and Signing Time songs.  

I don't hate that they do this, actually I think it can be very creative (when its not annoying anyway).  I just got to wondering if this was a normal thing.  Do other five year olds "play" by singing their lines?  

On another note, Ole St Nick got this bright idea to bring our kids stuffed Angry Birds.  Taylor and Livi are head over heals about this.  Taylor named his bird, the blue one, Flex.  Alivya named her red bird, Alligator.  Yes, my daughter has a stuffed bird called Alligator.  

They went ahead and named Ava and Wes' birds too...  Baby and Crestly respectively.  Taylor is really big into trying to rhyme, so I am willing to bet signifiant money on the fact that Taylor named Westli's bird.  

No Rest

Wow, it was a busy day today.  When I schedule things it never looks as bad as it feels trying to accomplish it all!  Today I dropped Ava and Wes off at daycare, then Tay and Liv at school.  Then I went to the tech to tutor my student (who is doing very well now :) Makes me proud!) After two hours there, I headed back to the daycare to pick up Wes.  I took him to his Orthotist appointment where he was fitted with brand new orthotics and a new Spio suit!  I put him down for a nap.  Afterwards, I went grocery shopping, brought him back to daycare, and had a meeting with the daycare people.  I cut the meeting short because I had to go pick Liv and Tay from school, and when I got home, I crashed.  Literally on the couch. 

Ugh, so busy.

Family Time

Enjoying more family time today.  I will be going back to work soon, so we are trying to enjoy as much time together as possible.  Tonight we toured the Garden of Lights display at the Green Bay Botanical Gardens. We also watched/listened as our favorite football team defeated the New York Giants to maintain their perfect season, 12 & 0!!!! 

I am still absorbing the reality that we lost Benji, I can't tell if I am weepy because we lost him, or because of the surgical menopause business.  It doesn't really matter, I feel very sad.  Sometimes I think its cruel that time is what heals our wounds. 

Good bye Benji

I learned today that my first and only dog that was ever really mine, Benji, has died of bone cancer.  

Benji came to be with us after we bought our first house in South Milwaukee.  I am and always will be, a dog lover.  Benji taught me, though, that I while I love dogs, I don't love taking care of dogs.  When Taylor and Livi were about 18 months old and starting to explore, Benji nipped at Liv twice.  The second time he nearly got her.  I decided that I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to either my child or my dog.  We were lucky though, our neighbors had taken a liking to Benji from the very day that we moved in.  They would come over and ask to walk him, or play with him.  So when things were working out badly for us, I asked them to take him.  

This arrangement worked out so nice for us.  Benji was pampered and loved in their home.  They had the time, energy, and means to care for him properly. And I still got to play/pet him any time I wanted to. I love gazing out the window and watching him.

This morning our neighbor came to tell me the news, and I can't even bare it.

I will always take comfort in knowing how much they loved him and that they took such excellent care of him.  I know that their decision to let him go was terribly difficult, and I support them completely.  Thank you, Sue and Greg for being so good to us for taking him, for loving him. 

Benji, I will miss your wagging bottom, your beautiful handsome face! 

CP Study

Taylor has been a participant in a study for children with CP since Feb 2009. We travel to Madison every six months and spend two hours or so. They reimburse our travel expenses and give us a full analysis of T's speech and language for each visit. Usually he is really eager to participate, motivated by the toy he gets at the end. This time he was a little more reluctant and gave these students a run for their money! I'm proud of this only because it is a very normal behavior for a child who is almost six!

T will do this only one more time as the study concludes after his 8th visit. I feel weird thinking about not doing it, but mostly I hope they do find out some information from T's participation that will help other parents know what to expect as their special child develops.

IEP round 2

Today Jon and I attended Westli's IEP meeting.  It always surprises me how complicated this process is, when it seems so intuitive to me.  My child demonstrates significant delays in all areas... you give him services to try to close the gap between him and his peers.  Why does this take 2 hours to do? 

At the conclusion of said meeting, we determined a lot that we already knew... 

1) Wes has delays across the board.

2) Wes qualifies for services through our school district's Birth to 5 service.

3) Wes is a mystery

4) Wes would benefit from a classroom environment.

5) An appropriate classroom environment might not be available.

6) Writing Wes' goals is going to be complicated

Consequently, my ability to plan for the next three to five months is not any easier than it was prior to this enlightening meeting where I had hoped to have a secure and clear plan for the second half of the year :(

Everyone seemed displeased by his referral to WEAP (Wisconsin Early Autism Program), though it seemed for different reasons.  Some worried that they would diagnose Autism to justify their own means, a la they would provide treatment and benefit from the diagnosis.  Most were concerned that his "symptoms" are inconsistent and where they point this direction in some ways, there are significant ways in which they do not.  Some just thought there were other concerns that were more significant...  I don't know what to think.  I have always asked the Birth to 3 staff to keep an eye out for autism symptoms (preemies have a higher risk of developing autism, ADHD, and other sensory processing disorders...)  Yet they maintain that the "concerning" things the evaluation team saw was all due to their "newness" to Wes.  I wonder if we are so used to Wes that we just don't see these things, yet it is completely possible that what they saw was because Wes doesn't know them.  The eval team only spent about two hours with him, as opposed to the Birth to 3 team who have pretty much been seeing him for an hour a week for about 3 years...  

::Sigh::

Trimming

Jon traveled over the holiday weekend for a spontaneous visit with family, so we trimmed our Christmas tree a little bit early this year.  Usually we stick to a tree trimming sometime after Thanksgiving... usually ends up happening on the Friday after since the kids and family are usually around.  We had three casualties this year.  Two I was able to repair, one was too damaged.  (of course I am referring to ornaments and not children :) 

Ava was more into it than we had anticipated, and Taylor and Liv were busy little helpers.  It was a little stressful, I won't sugar coat it.  But it was also very satisfying to see all the children participating and enjoying themselves.  What a difference it makes to have four children who can walk as opposed to three! I sincerely mean that in a good way.  

I haven't yet dived into the decorating of the rest of the house... you know, mantles, stockings and stuff... I'm not sure I have the energy. 

This time of year is so cumbersome, IEPs x2, extra appointments, studies, holidays, birthdays... sigh... 

Is it Christmas yet?

Alivya asks me every day, "Is it Christmas yet?" Sometimes the question varies a little.  For example, "I just want it to be Christmas now." As if I have some really amazing power to change time.  If I had that ability, I might fast forward to Christmas two years from now, when hopefully I'll be graduating again.  It is fascinating to understand how naive and unconventionally my children process the world.  I don't remember ever being like that, and sometimes wonder what that must be like?

Eating

This is a positive feeding video of Wes... a rare calm happy feeding.  I say "rare" because for the last two weeks feeding Wes has been a nightmare.  He would eagerly climb up into his seat and open his mouth, we would scoop a large spoonful of whatever we had for him in. Then he would scream bloody murder, pull out the food and throw it at us.  Eventually the screaming would lead into banging his head on the table, chair or floor.  This only made him more angry because now he was really in pain.  His thrashing and whipping about was so uncontrollable that Jon and I couldn't keep him constrained either.  It was awful.  I made an emergency call to his feeding therapist because I believed his behavior to be a behavior.  She was baffled. He has been doing stuff like this for a few months on and off, but these past two weeks have been the very worst.  She and I agreed to take him to the doctor because we simply didn't know what else to do, and we wanted to rule out a medical problem. 

His doctor really upset me.  It was obvious that he had already made up his mind before I even spoke.  I was infuriated mostly because we have been trying to manage it for months as a "behavior", we had exhausted every behavioral modification suggestion anyone came up with.  Our therapist put his issue out there for the entire staff of our county's Birth to Three service.  Collectively it was agreed that he must have something medical causing him to react this way.  And yet, my children's doctor had dismissed the concept before I had said anything.  Ugh.  I usually commend the relationship that I have developed with their doctor, but right now, I am pretty unhappy about it. 

We left that appointment with referrals to the Wisconsin Early Autism Program and the feeding team at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin, in Milwaukee.  He suggested that the feeding team would insist on placing a gastric tube for feedings because according to his records, he had lost 1.5 pounds since August.  I am really not sure where these records came from, but I have already begun collecting records from his Birth to 3 dietician.  In my opinion, she has more reliable data, as she is always the one who weighs him, she uses the same scale, and undresses him for every measurement.  Anyway, they have a lot of work to do to convince me that a G-tube is necessary.

Sanity

I will try to make a unique post tomorrow...  as for now, me verses my four children since Friday at 8am...   This is about all anyone can ask of me.

Damn the blur

I like the photo anyway! 

Anyone have a crayon?

Yes, I am aware that its been nearly a month since Halloween... I'm a little behind... 

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had a busy day, after getting dressed up cute, we had some breakfast (well the kids did anyway)... I baked Christmas cookies that I purchased from my new favorite dough store, U-Bake! So much better than mixing and fighting with dough and cookie cutters! After breakfast, Taylor, Alivya, and Ava helped me sift powdered sugar for icing. I mixed orange, red, blue, purple, green, yellow, black, and white. The kids then painted the icing on the cookies and covered them in sprinkles!

As they finished up the cookies, the Packer game started. The big kids played while the little ones napped, and the adults cheered and groaned.

Three hours later we had another W! Jon and I packed up all the kids and set off for grandma's house. Hors-d'ourves, turkey dinner, and movie latter, we returned home with four tired kiddos!

Since it was already so late, I decided, perhaps against my better judgement, to check out the Walmart black Friday sale. I could not believe the number of cars! I got lucky and actually secured a parking spot in the lot, many has parked in lots for other businesses nearby. Since I got there at 10:10, I also missed the crowd and walked right in. Inside the store, I couldn't hardly move. Thankfully I didn't bother with a cart. After about ten minutes, I had made my way to electronics, a destination I needed because Job asked me to pick up a tape deck adaptor for his phone... I did grab one toy as I made my way through that department. Then I jumped into the checkout line in electronics. I knew the line at the front of the store was hours behind. About a half hour after I got there, I left the store. I was shocked to see that a huge line had formed all the way down the side of the store. It was really very shocking. I was happy to be leaving and headed home to my bed.

Christmas Parade

Last night was Appleton's 41st annual evening Christmas parade.  I guess it is the biggest evening parade in the world (?)... country (?)  hmm, not really sure.  Anyway, its a really big deal around here.  They said they expected 80,000 spectators for this years parade.  That is like a football game, more than most football stadiums...  Anyway, we chose to be spectators from our living room...  Taylor and Livi were more disappointed not to be going to the parade than I expected.  They enjoyed some of the parade, but Tay lost interest.  Ava and Wes didn't seem to even notice it.  Perhaps next year....

So it begins, the Christmas season is now in full swing...

IEP take 2

Yesterday I went back to Taylor's classroom to meet for a second time to complete T's IEP.  Our initial meeting on the 16th ended after nearly two and half hours without being finished.  It was very obvious that the team had not come prepared to finish either.  I found this annoying since it is pretty difficult for us to find time to meet for these things. As it was, our babysitter fell through, Jon had to leave work early, and a friend of ours had arranged to join us to help us understand what was happening.  So meeting again was a pretty big disruption.  In the end though, it turned out okay.  I think there was a bit of behind the scene work that lead to the uneventful meeting, and for that I am truly grateful. 

In the end Taylor not only qualified for services (which last year I had been warned that he would not qualify at all....) but they actually increased all of the services he was receiving and added some.  He will have a new classroom and a new teacher starting on Monday.  I have some reservations about this, mostly because transitions are difficult for Taylor, but I think in the end this is really what he needs.  More on that as it develops, I guess. 

Les Mis

Since I became a parent, I think a big part of me was sort of lost.  That is the part of me that actually has her own hobbies and things I enjoy.  Musicals and shows are clearly included in this category since I really can't drag four young children to them, and finding a babysitter has always been challenging.  So now that the kids are getting older and less complicated, thus making babysitters a little easier to find, it was truly wonderful to get out of the house for a show.  

Jon and I went to see Les Miserables at the "PAC" on Sunday.  It was hard to go while knowing that the Packers were playing and looking to remain undefeated, but all the same it was a really good feeling to get out and do something we enjoy together.  We had pretty good seats, in the second row.  Unfortunately, there was a very tall man that sat in front of us between Jon and most of the action on the stage.  This in itself was made worse by the fact that this man and his companion (an adult daughter I would guess) felt the need to use their opera binoculars throughout the entire production.  I have no idea what they were looking at, their nostrils?  The action in most cases was not more than ten feet from us... anyway...  I probably enjoyed myself more than Jon since it didn't impede my view much.  

The best part might have been at the end when Javier ripped off his coat to reveal a Packer t shirt underneath and screamed "10 and 0!" (after the curtain call of course) 

Sunday was a good day.  

Prematurity Awareness Month

November is Prematurity awareness month.  I usually spend the whole month berating my readers with prematurity information.  I do this because I am deeply committed to reminding everyone that prematurity is on the rise.  Its something that I never thought about until I had significantly premature babies, and it I think it is safe to say that when people think about pregnancy and babies, they don't think about those that are born too soon.  I am a strong supporter of the March of Dimes because I dream of a day when all babies are born healthy.  So on this day six years ago, my perception about pregnancy changed forever.  I no longer fretted about the things that "normal" parents worried about.  I began to worry about my babies surviving their birth, the infections and trials they would face in the NICU, and the lifelong consequences that result.  These are the images that remind me where we started, and how far we have all come:

Isn't it awesome?