JFK

My interest in the Kennedy clan started a few years ago when I downloaded and read a book called After Camelot.  Since then, I find myself digging for new books to read on the subject, new videos and movies to watch, anything with the name fascinates me.  Even so much that one day a month or so ago, I was doing clinicals at a local nursing home and I heard the name Skakel on one of the resident's television sets... I had to go check it out! (Ethyl Skakel Kennedy is the widow of Robert F Kennedy... in case you are not already acquainted...)

So the passing of the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination has absolutely caught my interest.  In fact I just finished reading a new book on it.  I also watched a fascinating documentary that caught my eye because it professed to be about the "other shooter", but turned out to be about a complete psychopath who only manifested his psychosis through the events of the assassination.  Still "Interview with an Assassin" was extremely interesting... not from a Kennedy obsession point of view however.

I don't have an opinion on the conspiracy theories really. I believe that there is definitely more to the story than what the public has been given, and the whole of it is simply tragic. I was originally pulled into the mystique of it by a profound curiosity to to understand why it was so moving to nearly everyone.  I wanted to understand why nearly everyone remembers where they were when they heard the disturbing news.

I don't know if I am really any closer to understanding these things, but do think I have gained some perspective on the times, and most definitely they family.  I thought the assassinations would be the most interesting tale they had, but in fact, a series of tragic loses in their most inner ranks really completes the picture of their allure. How a family with so much wealth and power becomes victimized over and over by misfortune and tragedy is simply fascinating to me.

"But Goethe tells us in his greatest poem that Faust lost the liberty of his soul when he said to the passing moment: "Stay, thou art so fair." And our liberty, too, is endangered if we pause for the passing moment, if we rest on our achievements, if we resist the pace of progress. For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future."  --"Address in the Assembly Hall at the Paulskirche in Frankfurt (266)," June 25, 1963, Public Papers of the President: John F. Kennedy, 1963.

World Prematurity Day

 It really is amazing to me that eight years have past since the day we lurched into parenthood so unexpectedly. It was Novemeber 20th, 2005 when I woke up feeling crampy and miserable on the first day of my 20th week of pregnancy.  Halfway through that twin gestation pregnancy, I think Jon and I both were just starting to really get excited about the upcomming birth.  Our road on that journey was already marred by infertility, signifcant first trimester bleeding, bedrest, and just worry. But at that point, we had been several weeks without a complication, and finally found a peaceful place in the pregnancy. 

I spent most of that day just feeling really worried and uncomfortable, but I didn’t really think I could be in labor. After dinner time, I finally gave into the panic and called my doctor. It was all history from there. Taylor and Alivya were born on December 30th, six full weeks after my water broke upon arrival at the hospital that day. They were fourteen weeks preterm, sick and tiny. Together, they weighed only 4 lbs 1 oz.

As things began to feel like they were “settling down”, Jon and I started talk about another pregnancy. Obviously, no one wanted to repeat what had happened the first time around. We talked extensively with my physician before we made our decision. She reassured us that there was no evidence to support the assumption that I could not carry a baby to term. The only pregnancy related complication that resulted from my first pregnancy was the fact that I ended up with a vertical incision on my uterus that would make vaginal birth contraindicated for me. With this knowledge, we returned to our fertility specialist with the goal of achieving a single gestation full term pregnancy.

On January 9th, 2009 I was 29 weeks pregnant and in labor again. Ava and Westli arrived eleven weeks early the next day. Together, they weighed 7lbs 3 oz.

For a long time, I thought the story of our tiny babies was their ability to survive being so small and sick. I definitely don’t downplay the significance of their birth, nor the miracle of their survival. To have one baby, born so early and frail, survive is miraculous, but to have four is utterly amazing. As time has past, I have learned that their survival, their time in the NICU, and all the special things we endured as a result, were just the beginning of the story of Prematurity.

Prematurity is a chronic health problem. Prematurity is at least part of the reason our house is crawling with microbial illness from September to March. Prematurity is the reason we still max out our deductibles and out of pocket health costs each and every year. Prematurity is the reason my eight year olds still wear clothes they should have out grown three years ago, and still scarcely weigh 45 lbs. Prematurity is why I feel like every step in their lives has been a battle and why I feel like the fight is sometimes gone. Prematurity is why I know that there are home health professionals, pediatric physical, occupational, and speech therapists, and individualized education plans. Prematurity is why I call myself a special needs parent.

The fact that I have a child with cerebral palsy, two with autism, and two with asthma is only secondary to that fact that they were all premature. So every year, when November roles around, I get on my soapbox about prematurity. My kids, my children, are amazing wonderful enigmas in this world. I have celebrated their every triumph, even those that average parents do not have the perspective to realize are triumphs (like chewing). And in that way, I would not have my child any other way. That said, they have suffered and continue to suffer needlessly from the effects of prematurity. They struggle to gain weight, they struggle with social interactions, they struggle with attentiveness, they struggle with fluid behind their eardrums, they have vision abnormalities, respiratory compromise, immunocompromise, anxiety and more. Sure, some of these things might develop even if they were not preemies, but the simple fact that they were, increases their risk significantly.

This is why I still support the work of the March of Dimes who set their aims so high, so that every baby has the potential to be born healthy.

This month, please think about donating to support the March of Dimes and their crusade against prematurity. Every dime helps.



Happy Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to Jon's brother Tom! 

And Happy (a few hours early) birthday to my favorite sister Amy! May you both have a fun safe day! And remember, you are both still older then me ;)

Reindeer

 

Last week my co-worker told me about this great free event that happens at the TimberRattlers Stadium where they bring reindeer and a sleigh and there is cookies and hot chocolate.  It sounded like a fun family thing to do.  So I tell Jon about it and we agree to go.  Jon called his mom and we all trudge out on Saturday morning to hang out with the reindeer.  

As it turns out, the stadium is at least ten degrees colder than everywhere else.. and it was cold everywhere else that day.  It was colder there because it is like a wind tunnel! Look at our hair! 

So at the end of the day, we were freezing, but we did have a good time.  And seriously who gets to take a picture with their hair flying next to a reindeer!?! If Jon and I were not standing there, it might look like they were flying in that sleigh!

Thanks for the suggestion Jean!

Halloween

Yes, I am aware that Halloween was a few weeks ago already.  I guess it is better late than never.  No, we have not obtained another child, the wet lady in black is a neighborhood friend of Taylor and Liv's. This year it was more difficult than others to get things together.  As it turned out, this semester was so much busier and faster and somehow more stressful than all the others.  So Jon found some costumes for Ava and Wes, and Taylor finally fit into the costume that Livi wore the last couple years.   Livi went with a theme we have been toying with all year, Harry Potter.  She made an adorable Harry Potter... She made it very clear that she didn't want to be Ginny or Hermione, she wanted to be Harry. So Wes was Mike from Monsters University, Ava was Tinker Bell, and Taylor was a dinosaur/dragon.

Halloween happened to be on a day that I had clinical, and it happened to be pouring rain, all day... So I get home from clinical and there is a literal monsoon outside.  Naturally, I know that Taylor and Liv should be picked up from school, but I also know that Wes' center was closed after school and on his way home.  So I think, as I often do, I can super mom this and run to school, pick up A&T and be home before Wes got here.  Well, no, of course he arrived, probably a minute after I left.

Of course the wonderful person who helps us by giving Wes a ride home from school, also has children... fighting to get home in this monsoon...  So this is how we start halloween.  Wet and frustrated :(

So we get in the house and I try to get the kids to finish up homework... reading...  gather all the costume supplies.  Get them dressed for the weather under their costumes.
So with three kids running around like crazy, I am looking out side and I just see rain.  At 4, ten minutes or so after we got home, I turn on the porch lights for trick or treaters.  Usually we have a couple of little kids right away.  So it made me realize that there was a real issue with all this rain.  So, I called Jon and we decided that we needed to stop and pick up umbrellas... for everyone.  Jon picked up Ava and headed to the store.  In the meantime, I was getting the other three costumed up.  Taylor and Alivya were pretty easy.  Wes was fairly cooperative at first.  He put everything on and was running around and jumping and being silly.  Then suddenly he wanted the eye off.  He was getting really frustrated and started screaming at me and then tears.  Everything ends in tears.... eventually.

The worst part is that I usually don't even know why we are having tears.  So I was trying to calm him down, and it occurred to me the irony of it all. So I took a picture.  And, as this is Wes, the camera comes out and the tears stopped.  So now we are all good again.  Just about then Jon and Ava arrived and it was time to get TinkerBell ready.
So eventually we did get everyone costumed and umbrella ladened.  And we hit the road.  Oh it was WET! So Taylor and Liv did well managing their umbrella and their baskets. Wes had no interest in carrying a bag or basket, he was all about the umbrella.  Wes wasn't even too into actual trick or treating.  I think he just loved walking down the street in the rain and playing with the umbrella.  Ava was having a really hard time managing the umbrella and the basket.  She kept bumping into me and every time her umbrella hit me a huge puddle of rain fell on me. I was soaked when we got home.  Eventually, I ended up holding the umbrella over her head.

After about an hour we had made our way around the small block by our house.  And I was soaked and exhausted... hungry.  So I took Ava and Wes home while Jon took Tay and Liv around a little more.  So while it was relatively warm this year, it was just a really wet Halloween.  Lots of candy was collected (and eaten :( and everyone had at least a little fun too!

Reflections

Today I finished up another class in what was once a long list of courses that stood between me and a career I started towards a long time ago.  I'm not really an indecisive person, but I do like to dabble in a little bit of everything.  Crafts, for example, I'm not a great cross stitcher, crochet-er, quilter, etc.  But I like to do a little bit of all of it.  I think I like the challenge of learning something new.  Such has been the journey of my life.  Late in elementary school I realized that I wanted to be recognized for my hard work, and I realized, perhaps for the first time, that I actually could achieve in that way, academics I mean.  I perfected this craft in Middle school.  I was on the honor role all the way through, yet I was never in QUEST or gifted and talented or anything like that.  It was much later in my life that I came to understand that I wasn't in those groups because my "gift" is hard work.  I wasn't born "smart", and my "achievements" came because I invested myself in working hard.  In high school I learned to deal with my own failures.  Yes, I got a B and it threw my world upside down.  I taught myself to expect certain things of my own performances.  After that first one, it wasn't as hard to get another.  I couldn't tell you today just how many of them I had in high school, even though I am sure there was a day I thought I would never forget.


This was also the first time I tried to compare myself with other students who "achieved" like me.  Most of them, gifted and talented, still blew me out of the water.  Not only did they have excellent academic achievements, but they were playing sports, participating in clubs, and making a college portfolio.  I knew I wanted, no needed to go to college, but I had no idea what that really meant.  I did what the school councilors told me to do.  I took those silly career interest exams.  Yes, they all said I should be a school teacher...  I had done enough babysitting in my pre-teen and teenage years to know that I did not want to be a school teacher.  I actually had no idea what people who went to college did.  All I knew was that people who went to college made "good" money.

In seventh grade my best friend invited me to participate in a volunteer activity at the Grignon Mansion in Kaukauna.  I did so, and I never looked back.  I spent a lot of my time volunteering there, and eventually I was invited to be a paid docent during my summer break.  I was totally in love with local history (the Grignon Mansion was one of the very first modern day houses built in the Northeast Wisconsin Frontier).  The curator at the Mansion became my friend and role model.  I learned so much from Jane.  Suddenly I was surrounded by intelligent academic people who all went to college. Thus, my understandings and impressions of "college" began to form.  I didn't really know what Anthropology was, but I knew a lot of people who were majoring in it, most of them I met in connection with my work at the Mansion.  I took a really poor class in high school that really didn't clarify things for me, but at that point I don't think it really mattered.  My mind understood that Anthropology was what museum people did, and I could do museum work, so I would major in Anthropology.

Obviously it didn't take long for people to start asking me what I was going to do with a degree in Anthropology.  For the first oh, three years, I told them I would work in a museum.  Duh, that is why I went down that path in the first place right? Then I did an internship at the Milwaukee Public Museum.  What an amazing opportunity!?!  I loved walking through the exhibits, working with the artifacts, even learning about cataloging.  I also made side money through my job in the Marquette University Archives.  There I got to catalog and inspect brand new collections that had never been examined before.  (Not to mention handle and drool over other collections).  So what wasn't to love? Yeah, money... not only do these people not make a lot of money just from doing their jobs day in and day out, but they were constantly looking for grants and begging for money via fundraisers etc just to do what was right for their collections.  The Grignon Mansion, my love and joy for so many years, was in desperate need of restoration... TLC... and there just wasn't any money in it.  Not only did we fail in our fundraising efforts, each year I saw more and more of the services slip away. It was supremely depressing.  And to this very day, I hate trying to persuade people to part with their precious bucks.  Obviously my love for history and museums was not going to pull me through a lifelong career in it.

So then I took a class in paleontology... so awesome to learn the history of human kind. I got really into the bones and the debate of the fossil records.  I discovered that subconsciously, I had also been limiting myself to classes that I thought I could do well in.  This class was sort of test for my own confidence that I could learn some really complex information.  Then I wanted to do forensic science.  So I took an anatomy and physiology course.  This monster was 5 credits and included a lab and cadaver section.  I thought of it as a challenge.  If I can do well in this class, then I can probably do some of the other science classes that I had been hiding from.  So there in my third year of college, I first started to let myself learn.  And when most people were taking "blow off" senioritis type electives, I took Chemistry, Biology, A&P,  and Physics.  I completed my degree with a minor in Biology and all the prerequisite course work for medical school.

While I regret that I made decisions about college out of fear and lack of knowledge, I recognize that I simply didn't have the resources to know what my options were.  I still think my anthropology degree is relevant in every angle of my life, and is therefore totally valid.  However, I might have decided to do it the other way around if I had started with the knowledge that I have now.  So as my graduation from my second degree looms here in the not too distant future, I am feeling accomplished, yet exhausted. I wonder what my dad would say to me now?

Summer projects

I spent a lot of my time this summer working on some craft projects.  I made a quilt for my friend Heather's bridal shower.  She got married last month!  I didn't think to take a photo of her quilt though...  Next my girl friend Kristin was pregnant with triplets!  So pictured above are some burp cloths I made for her shower.  Below are two carseat covers that I made for her (I ran out of time and fabric to make three :(....

 

I am in love with idea of keeping the outside sort of elegant and sophisticated (for mom) and the inside fun and colorful for baby.  I found the fabric on the bottom of the outside first, then matched two other pieces from those colors.  

This Peter Pan fabric was a real find for me.  I chose it from the remnant clearance section years ago. Earlier in the year I used some to make an apron for Ava, but I thought the was the perfect way to use what was left.  I cut the squares of the story apart and patchworker it together to make a large piece of fabric for the underside.  Tinkerbell, Wendy, Peter Pan, and the Lost boys are all featured.  I think this ended up being my favorite part of the carseat covers.

These photos are of the outside of the second cover and the underside of the second cover.  Like the first, I used the matching fabric on the bottom and for the hanging loops, and a patchwork style for the underside.   I used a number of the scraps from the burp cloths on this piece. 

I found this fabric while I was shopping for my other fabrics, and well, I just could not leave it in the store.  So I took it home, hemmed the edges and made a very large blanket that she can use to have all the boys play on together... at least while they are little :O)

Finally, for the baby shower, I found a pattern for these cute shoes pinned to Kristin's Pinterest page. (all of the gifts were things I found pinned to her Pinterest page) Arn't they super adorable?

Although she was due in December, Kristin's babies just couldn't wait to come into the world (sound familiar?).  They were born in late September and all are doing very well.  They are still in the NICU as expected, but making progress toward coming home around their due date.

My final project for the summer was this quilt.  We gave this as a wedding gift for a friend who was joining together two families.  I love the idea that a single parent who gets married to another single parent is literally stitching together their families...  So I thought it was rather appropriate.  Congrats Sofia and Mike!

Chihuly Venetian glass exhibit

We took a field trip to the Paine Art Museum this afternoon to see the Chihuly Venetian Glass exhibit. It was beautiful! Amazing really...

The kids did really awesome too! Although they had no barriers around anything, so they had representatives watching your every move.  When our kids even pointed at things we were on them like burrs to dog...  Still as I was walking with Wes out of the exhibit, this snooty woman says, "you know, there IS a children's exhibit downstairs." As if my children should not be allowed to see what they can't possibly appreciate as fine glass...  whatever.

I sure did look at her and say, "Oh yes we are actually going to explore that after, we see this exhibit."
We did check that out, and there really wasn't anything special based on Chihuly down in the "family friendly" exhibit.  The bigger kids really got into the video of him blowing glass.  That surprised

me. Ava and Wes, understandably were less interested in that. On the second floor there was a small display near the big round stained glass.  Everything there was enclosed, much more kid friendly.

A woman stopped me up there and said, "I am so glad you decided to bring your children.  It is wonderful to see hear them and see them enjoying this." She also complimented them on being well behaved.  Made me proud.  What can I say?

Tomatoes

There is something very beautiful about tomatoes or so I have always thought. I have also always enjoyed eating tomatoes... This year, I grew orange, yellow, and Roma varieties... Love them all!

Lunch!!!! :)

New outfits

When Livi first saw this outfit, she said it looked like "someone drew flowers all over a jail shirt"!

Jon (who picked it out) said it resembled "Hamburgler after murdering Ronald McDonald"!

While somewhat more modest, Liv's outfit is pretty interesting also. The shoulders are leather ruffles with a leopard printed headband and green tule skirt...

Brain

As a study tool, I created is study map... T looks at it and says, "Is that a brain?" Me: "Yes, and these are all the things that can happen to your brain because your brain is very important." Ava: "Mom, Brains are what Zombies eat!"

Thunder

Taylor and Liv were playing Mincraft and on the game it started to thunder. Wes, in the other room, heard the thunder and said, "It's cloudy!"  Thus is just one example of the higher functioning that leaks out every now and then. It gives me so much hope to realize that he knows so much more than I know he knows... If you know what I mean ;)

5K

My usual pace 48 min, my goal 45 min, my official time 43:10!

Feeing awesome today! (And tired!)

Just another day

Busy day, what else is new? I sat on a Q&A panel for new student orientation. Picked up huge pile of paperwork and paid school fees at Johnston ... Met the new principle ... Cleaned, cooked, ....

Now to prove that I have no skills in MarioCart!

Front teeth

On Saturday, before we went off to the Zoo, Taylor lost the first of his front teeth.  Livi lost hers about a month ago already, so we had been sort of waiting for it.  Its hard to see in this picture that I took at the zoo. Taylor was so excited about it, that he forgot to leave it under his pillow (sarcasm implied) and the tooth fairy had to find it on the counter and left his money anyway... one less trip for her to make another day.

Today, he lost the other one...  while eating a Klondyke Bar no less... Taylor tends to to loose them a while after Liv, but he tends to loose many at a time... sorry tooth fairy... guess you have to come back again anyway!

Fall Cleaning

I had a long list of items on my to-do list today.  Cleaning up all the toys in the house really wasn't on that list, but I just couldn't take it anymore.  So I got out my mad momma military style attitude and whipped the kids into shape.  Livi, Tay, and Ava, with a lot of coaxing, worked hard and cleaned up ALL the toys from the first floor of my house. They hauled them all downstairs and sorted them into their rightful bins.  While they worked on toys, I worked on sweeping... and scrubbing... I was pretty excited when we were all done... except that I then had to start working on my original list.

Yikes!

In the end I did accomplish most of what was on my list also, and I worked out int he garden a bit, and attended to a bunch of paperwork that had come in the mail too, all before heading to work!

Baby Shower

This afternoon I took the girls to a friend's baby shower.  My friend is expecting triplets, so I really wanted to give as much as I could.  I spent every last minute of free time this week sewing away with all the scraps I could find.  When I was out of time, I had two car seat covers, a large blanket, 10 burp cloths, and three pairs of hand sewn booties... pics to come...

I placed them all in a wagon that the kids no longer use, and I have to admit, it looked pretty awesome. 

I like bringing the girls to things like this because I find that kids (at least mine) don't have a lot of opportunities to be a part of gatherings where there are certain expectations.  So I find that showers usually provide a good opportunity for me to talk to them about being lady-like... you know, sit with your legs closed, use your manors-please, thank you, may I... Eating a little bit of everything and telling people how wonderful it is... all that etiquette type stuff.  I also like for them to see that giving is really important and that they shouldn't expect to be given things (though I have found they never leave empty handed...so then we work on how to be a gracious in accepting a gift...)

The girls made me very proud.  They were kind and shy, very polite, and felt special to be there.  The shower was fun. I was especially excited to see my friend as it seems our calendars rarely agree.  I can't wait to see her new little bundles with their booties. So excited for her!

Zoo

We enjoyed a busy day today. We met up with my mom at the N.E.W. Zoo in Suamaco.  The kids complained a little, but did seem to enjoy themselves also.  The baby monkey was popular, as was the giant turtle that wanted so badly to come right over that its shell squealed as it ran along the wooden barriers... The kids were not fans of "feeding" the giraffe... (and $1 for a branch of leaves... really?!)

Jon and I had our last appointment with our personal trainer. It was a very good experience, better for Jon I think than me... Our trainer Matt was very personable, easy to like... easy to hate in the burn of the moment... really made me sweat!

We ended the evening with a 3 mile jog with strides.  Since I jog at the pace that Jon walks... sort of... he walks with me whenever it works out.  Then he races me on the strides.  He runs normally at my fastest stride, so its not so much a "race".  Still, it motivates me some, and Jon at least finds it humorous.

Mushrooms!

Another photo dump!  Jon caught Livi during a pensive moment...  The rest of these are the many mushrooms we spotted on our hikes while up yonder.  We made a big deal out of these things in an effort to make hiking interesting for the kids.  Otherwise it just feels like work...

When there was something to discover or look for, they were pretty content, but when we were just tromping through bug infested "forests" they were "bored", "thirsty", and "tired". You know... kids... 

In July in Wisconsin, wild mushrooms are the most abundant thing to find along the forest floor.

We did see some flowers, but they were mostly flowering weeds.

Mushrooms, conversely, were tirelessly interesting.  The kids never got sick of finding mushrooms... even now :)