And we'll all float on ok...

First I would like to thank everyone for their encouraging words again. Seems like we need that a lot these days.

There is good news on the job front. I have several strong leads for positions all over Wisconsin and a couple out of state. I have really had to expand the job search net this time as the pickings are pretty slim. It does seem like the housing market is getting better, so that is good news if we do have to sell our house.

On the lighter side of things I decided to sell some games and my DS and pick up a complete Rock Band 2 setup for our Wii. Then, last weekend my mother flew in my brother and sister-in-law and we got down to rocking. Never thought I would see my own mother dawning a fake, plastic guitar, but she did. Even got the wife to play drums for a song. Had a great time. I continue to spend a good amount of time with the game. Not to much is better at the end of a weary day of networking, job hunting, and raising twins x 2 than rocking out to some Modest Mouse or Sound Garden.

Finally, what a lot of you come here for I know, new pics of the kids.

Perspective

Last week was a really bad week for me emotionally. I wasn't handling the idea that Westli's progress was non-existent very well. Every time I went to visit him I just sat there and cried. So ridiculous considering that he wasn't dying, he just wasn't eating. A big part of it was knowing that my medical leave at work was disappearing rapidly. Jon decided to take his paternity leave when both babies came home, so if Wes didn't come home two weeks before I went back, I knew that I would loose that time with Jon as well. I couldn't stand the idea of this last tiny detail of my pregnancy being wipped away from under my feet, just like so many other parts of it... you know, healthy babies, breastfeeding, taking them with me when I left the hospital... all that normal stuff that I started thinking about when we passed up the 26 week mark... Anyway, I cried and cried and got really angry, and then we decided to try him on thickener. And, he did well, and came home. I was excited for all of this despite our illness, which was thankfully very quick, and the fact that I would only get 10 days at home with Jon... better than none.

THEN... just six hours into his paternity leave... he got a call. Yesterday ThyssenKrupp (Waupaca Foundry) announced (to the public and its employees) a 12% lay off. Being one of the newest employees in his department, it is not surprising that Jon was one of the victims. Suddenly... perspective

I hate that term, mostly because I have been getting a lot of it recently. Last week all I wanted was time with my husband and my family, now, all I want is to know where we will be next month. I want to know how my bills will be paid, how Ava and Wes will get the follow up care they will require, how the he** do we get ahead when every two years we're getting laid off? Is there such a thing as security, and how do we get some? I have a lot of questions, fear, anger, hurt, and disbelief.

Vomitorium returns

Last year about this time we all came down with the nastiest stomach flu bug that I can remember. This year we got another... thankfully though, this bug was at least quick. Taylor started the fun on Friday morning when he suddenly started vomiting mid swallow of his juice. It was truly remarkable how quickly the bug attacked. He was wandering around fine, then like a snap of your fingers... vomit... Anyway, by that evening he was already feeling better and demanding food. We insisted on moving slow, but he ate toast and crackers really well. We kept him home from our weekly swim lessons on Saturday, and assumed it was gone.

Au Contre, Sunday morning Jon opened the kids door to find a mound on Livi's bed. She was warm and clearly running a fever. So after a soothing bath and some Tylenol, she vegged out on the couch most of the day. She also wanted to eat right away. By late Sunday night she was pretty much herself again. Thank god it was over and relatively painless...

NOT SO... I woke up at about 1am... and the rest speaks for itself. By 7am the nauseousness and vomiting subsided. I was able to eat toast around noon and things got better from there. Jon started feeling really sick around 5pm Monday. I think he managed to escape the vomiting though, so he may have gotten the mildest version of the bug. Ava, thankfully, has had no sign of any illness... knock on wood...

Jon spend most of yesterday sanitizing the whole house, I love Clorox wipes! I have been washing sheets and dishes and going over the hard surfaces again... oh to have preemies in the house again! Westli will arrive to a very sterile home!

Some pics from the calm before the storm...

Breaking out on Tuseday

20090315154330, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Westli...

Photo Collage

Some of you have been asking for a photo of all the kids at the same gestational age... so I finally got around to figuring that all out... Sorry it took so long!



Taylor and Alivya would have been just over 3lbs in this photo... Ava and Wes would be just over 5...

I still want a drobo.

For those of you following the blog for a while know, I want a Drobo. So here is another link to get me a chance to win one. The blog itself is nice, all about how to back up your data, which is very important for those of us with valuable files such as photographs. Anyways, here is the link.

mydl.me

Two Months

Today Ava and Wes are two months old. Ava is home, and doing very well... she snuggles and sleeps most of the time, but cries when she is hungry like babies should. Ava is eating close to three ounces per feed, and wakes up 1-2 times per night. She seems to be enjoying all her cuddle time. Her older siblings are getting along well with all the changes in our home. They seem to understand that Ava's needs come first, and have a lot of curiosity about her. There has been a little pushing of buttons and reverting back to more baby like tendancies, but nothing that we haven't been able to handle so far.

Wes... Wes is still in the hospital. He doesn't seem to have enough endurance to feed orally for all of his feeds. The doctor has been changing his orders to try to deal with this, but so far he continues to eat only about half of his feeds per day. The doctor says he is "sensitive" and isn't giving us any real idea of what to expect. We are tired, and annoyed, frustrated and just sad that our time is slipping way... ok well my time is slipping away. I go back to work on March 27th, every day is another day I lose. The hospital depresses me and even though I want to see Wes and spend time holding him, I can't stay there long these days. So, again, we wait...

Ava

20090301152232, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Jon caught this smile while we were "rooming in" with Wes and Ava on Sunday March 1st. I know its blurry, but so darn cute...

Taylor

20090303084329, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

This is Taylor's newest obsession... this yellow and navy diaper bag... he wears it like a back pack, but sticks his cords (old computer cords that don't fit into anything anymore) in it. Looks like a mailman... or a portable vacuum... He is very creative.

Livi

20090303084324, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Livi being sassy... look out!

Westli

20090301152604, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Westli during our "rooming in" at the hospital Sunday March 1st.

Ava - Post Jail Break

20090303150550, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

This is Ava cuddling with Grandma just after leaving the hospital last Tuesday.

Project Eat

Several months after Taylor came home from the NICU, I was disappointed by his regression in eating. I logged on to the March of Dimes Share my Story website. There, I found the story of triplets Lorne, Issac, and Sullivan. This story drew my attention because like Taylor, Lorne was being fed via G-tube. At the time, I was desperately looking for some support and connection with someone who had walked in our shoes. The McTriplet blog gave me so much hope since that day. These three little boys continue to inspire me and give us so much hope.

When Taylor started eating last year, we felt like we were traveling an untraveled road. We continued down the dark path blindly hoping that we were not being led astray. In September Jon and I decided to cut out the tube feedings, sort of cold turkey, but Taylor did great. I feel so much relief knowing that he has done so well. At the same time, my new friend, the McTriplet mom, was feeling the frustration of not having made much progress with Lorne's eating. I started working on a project to try help give them back some of the hope they gave me. My idea was to tape a video of Taylor with his tube and feeding pump, and a video of him eating, and then one of him when he got his tube out... So, a few weeks ago we finally took Taylor's G-tube out for good... but my project is a flop... why? Well I took the video of him with the tube just before we took it out.. it was super cute. Livi and Taylor both said hello to all three of the boys, and Livi pointed to Taylor's tube for me and they sang them the ABCs... but, Jon had changed the settings on the camera and without realizing it I took a time lapse video with no dialog. And I didn't know this until about two weeks after the tube came out... so, I can't do it over :( Both a good thing and a sad thing...

So for Lorne, my time lapse specials:


Taylor's button:





Taylor without his button:

From 2009, Best of

But the best part of this little failed project is that Lorne has started making some really huge gains all on his own! He is four now, and will likely go to kindergarten with out a feeding tube, his mom and dad's feeding goal. Way to go!!! Just more evidence to suggest that these little miracles really do progress when they are ready...

Hopefully all this computer code stuff is working, this is by far my most complex post ever... yeah me...

Ava - Jail breaker March 3rd

Ava - Jail breaker March 3rd, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Coming home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patience

I am not a very patient person... there I said it... Its driving me crazy that in the last two weeks there is very little for me to say about Ava and Wes' progress. I have a lot of trouble using that word too... In terms of progress, they've gained weight... in fact, Ava should break 6 pounds today. They've moved into cribs, for now... but the doctor warned me that they could decide to put them back in isolettes whenever they feel like it, so "I shouldn't be surprised if that happens". Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that statement? "Don't be surprised if_____". Like this little sentence takes all the sting out of regression. Anyway, the hospital is under construction... right outside the window next to Ava and Wes. She suggested that they might not be able to handle the noise... I think they have been doing fine, but a rock hit the window the other night and actually cracked it. The nurse mentioned that it will have to be replaced, so I wonder if that will mean another move for us.

Oh, back to progress... um, Wes started being offered bottle and is taking it up to every other feed with "cues". So that is about it. Ava can have a bottle with every feed, but as far as I can tell, she isn't being offered one with every feed. This being said, I must admit that both Ava and Wes usually start out a little sleepy. They both tend to wake up more after he first five minutes or so. I have noticed that the nurses tend not to offer a bottle unless they are super awake... so usually after they do their big assessments (once per shift). They wake up for that because it usually involves them undressing them almost totally and messing around (tickling them) with stethoscopes, thermometers, blood pressure cuffs, etc... During the rest of their feeds they usually change a diaper, which they've learned to sleep right through. Anyway, its made me pretty frustrated to see that Ava has made little tangible progress in the three weeks since she's started nippling. There have been two days where she took some of all bottles during the day, even all of a couple... I think it is interesting how those days happened to be days were the unit was not as busy and well staffed, but I am not suggesting anything...

Anyway, the unit has been busy with fairly high acuity babies... so getting our babies to eat is probably a low priority, but that doesn't make us, as parents, feel very good at all. I want my babies home... NOW... no yesterday... well weeks ago really, but you get my point. So patience... ugh

New Digs and New Cribs

Out of the isolets and into the crib. We also moved to the opposite corner of the NICU last week. The kids now resided where Taylor spent 2 1/2 months in 2006. It is so nice to see them sleeping without a piece of plastic between you and them.


Ava


Westli

We went sledding in the drive way...

Mom had them all bundled up of course.





After taking the photos we shoveled the drive way while the kids played. Looking up and down the street I saw a good amount of the neighbors out with their snow blowers. I always find it humorous, the two of us with our shovels, everyone else with their snow blowers. I personally prefer a good shovel, no need to worry about another $1000+ piece of equipment that get put to good use probably 3 times a year. Unless you have a massive drive way or there is over 6 inches of snow in a 24 hour period I really do not get the point.

Foxy

20090211095414, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

I meant to post this closer to when it took place. A fox decided to take a bath and a two hour nap in our back yard on the 11th. It is times like this were you are happy you have at least a 200mm lens, but really want a 600mm.

Flower

20090111111204, originally uploaded by J & J Studios.

Thought I would post something a little different. This is a flower that Julie's mother brought her the day that Westli and Ava were born.

Quick "Update"

Ava is 5lbs6oz. Wes is 4lbs12oz.

Both are working on taking a bottle.

This is why there haven't been updates... nothing really to say...