Quick One

So in Malibu we are sitting in the hotel room watching a very violent movie... well what I have seen of it anyway... I am actually trying to get some pix up for this post. However, I have about 30 minutes to accomplish whatever I intend to, before my computer dies... I left the charger down stairs in our room, and I would rather not disturb my family. So here is what I can crank out in 30 minutes or less!

Livi with her glasses!



Before we left, we met the little boy of one of the other ladies that I work with... This is Nicholas... what a super cute (and smart little guy!)



He got along so well with our kids, I think they will become good friends!



We flew to Malibu early Thursday morning... AND SURVIVED!! Haha... I definitely think that all my worrying and concern were justified. It was so horrible trying to get everything on the plane! Our connecting flight in Minneapolis departed from a gate that was almost as far away from our arrival gate as humanly possible. We raced from one end to the other just in time to catch general boarding... a good Samaritan offered to help us load our bags, which was a life saver! Still, I had to have a flight attendant help me get the babies on board since Jon got stuck behind a bunch of people who wouldn't get out of the isle. The kiddos really did well. They cried only a couple of times, and we were able to calm them down within a few minutes. They have adjusted to the time zone well, but the days have been so long with rehearsals, dinners, etc.





We would like to CONGRATULATE our newly weds, TOM and MELISSA! I don't have your pix up yet, but I will post one soon!

Also, CONGRATULATIONS to LINDA and TERRY on 25 years of wedded bliss! Here is to 25 more! ;)

The wedding yesterday was fun, but extremely exhausting! Jon and I left with the babies around 9:30pm Pacific time... after Taylor had fallen asleep on his grandmother's shoulder... I will post a pick of that as soon as my other brother in law shares it with me! We all promptly passed out!

A few pix before I loose power!











Hope you enjoy... Maybe I will be able to post again before we leave Malibu on Wednesday morning! Until then...

Malibu... Here we come!

Despite my many attempts at denying that this trip was coming... it has in fact arrived ;( So here goes ten days of toddlers on the loose in hotels, planes, and airports! May they sit quietly during the wedding on Saturday... oh I have lots of prayers for the next ten days!!!

In other news, Livi got her new glasses! She looks so studious... I am going to try to get a good picture later, and I will try to post it...

In the meantime, I have many other photos that I have been unintentionally holding back on you all...



Look at that bagel!



Chuga chuga choo choo !!!!!



Whooosh!



SO BIG!!!!

Not just a cute face after all!

Yesterday we went to see the eye specialist from UW Children's... we left home at 9am, and arrived back around noon! UGH! Turns out that there is one other thing that Taylor has really excelled at (beside growing teeth!) seeing!!! In the words of the doc, "No glasses for him!" Livi, on the other hand, has a large difference between her two eyes... one is -1 and the other -4... I have no clue what that means, but I know its not real good. She also has one eye that wanders intermittently. (the one on the left... probably the reason why she is squinting in the photos above...)

After first suggesting that she wear a patch over each eye on alternating days, the doctor decided that glasses would better correct her problems. I was grateful at first, since the thought of putting a patch over one of her eyes every day was a bit difficult for me to comprehend. Over the last year we have gotten pretty good at explaining oxygen tanks, G/J tubes and accessories, and all the other questions that come along with 26 week preemies... but how would I even begin to explain patches... I know that we don't have to explain, but people look at you funny, and many many people ask. We are usually pretty good at explaining or politely telling them to bud out, but it gets tiring. Anyway, so the idea of glasses is at the very least, more normal to most people. Many people have glasses and explaining that is easier than a patch... in my opinion.

However, we spent the evening today trying to find glasses that are small enough for our little dainty Livi... no small task! We lucked out at: Target, Wal-mart, Shopko, Perle Vision, and Lens Crafters! We decided to participate in a vision plan at work since Jon and I both wear glasses, and we expected that the kids would also... but it seems that we are going to have to find some place so specialized that our vision plan won't even be any good for her. That really pushes my buttons! I just can't believe that it is so strange for a little kid to need glasses!

Sorry about the venting, but I am really erked!

Las Vegas

So Jon is off to Las Vegas for the old Bachelor party... and can I say that I am so grateful that he doesn't have anymore brothers to have them? Last August when he went for the other one's B party, Alivya came down with pneumonia, followed by me a few days later... well yesterday as he started off for the trip, guess who starts coughing and crap... Yeah me and Alivya... so I took her to the ped, but he was satisfied with calling it a cold. So we wait with that, our luck... we will all get sick in Malibu! Haha, wouldn't that be funny!?!

Anyway, a cold front has sort of taken hold of this house, and I hope that it will all get better in a few weeks...

So in the spirit of Happy thoughts...



Isn't my family beautiful?

Moving on?

So it has been one week and one day since I lost Daddy... and I have said good bye, cried, told each and everyone of my siblings and my mom, watched him wheeled out of my house on a stretcher... under a blanket, cried, met my family at the funeral home, cried, finalized the arrangements, made a commemorative DVD (which Jon is working on uploading... waiting on non copyrighted music), made poster boards and photo enlargements, cried, began to rewrite my eulogy that I started over about six times in the last five years, threw away four blank sheets of paper, wrote something suitable; I guess, got all dressed up, cried, met my family at the funeral home again, set up the room with memories of life, wrote a speech to read on behalf of my brother, mingled, reminisced, hugged, laughed, gave my eulogy, listened as everyone cried when I played "That's my Job" by Conway Twittey, surprisingly didn't cry... ate, more mingling etc... cried, gathered up the plants, flowers, photos, cards, and remembrance book from the funeral people... cried, crashed and finally got a little sleep TOO! Wrote out 84 Thank You cards, at least...called the lawyer. Went back to work, walked on egg shells, cause no one really knows what to say... went back to the funeral home yet again, picked up Daddy. Sorry, picked up Daddy's "cre-maines" who came up with that? The funeral director had me sign the paper, then walked us, and Daddy, out to the car. He placed Daddy's cardboard box into the back seat of our car more delicately than an infant. He said his apologies once more, and here I am dazed.

I don't feel like myself. I feel like I have walked through every day since last Thursday as if I were some ghostly observer, just making the motions of life. I have made many decisions, which scares me knowing the state that my mind is in. I can't seem to get myself back into my routines. I just don't really want to clean, cook, eat, or even sleep most of the time... Does this insanity end?

I am probably the problem, but I can't seem to communicate with anyone. I feel like I am picking more fights with Jon, yet I don't mean to. Can he really understand? Does he even want to, I mean shouldn't I just move on?

Massey, Leroy A.

Posted April 28, 2007



Leroy A. Massey, Appleton, age 67, passed away on Thursday, April 26, 2007. Leroy was born on June 23, 1939, in Kaukauna, Wisconsin, son of the late Edward and Agnes (Spanner) Massey. Leroy was a Fox Valley resident all of his life. He was employed as a truck driver at Kaukauna Recycling for 26 years, and was employed at the Fox River Mall for 9 years, retiring in 1992.

Leroy is survived by his wife of 28 years, Meridene (Watts) Massey; his children: Joseph Massey and his special friend, Kim Fenske, Shiocton; Michael Massey and his special friend Barb Kuranda, Oshkosh; Amy Massey, Appleton; Julie (Jonathan) Stanis, Appleton; his grandchildren: Evan Leifermann, Taylor and Alivya Stanis. He is further survived by two brothers: Ronald Massey, New London; Dennis (Ginger) Massey, Menasha; a sister, Norma Bernard, Chilton; and a brother-in-law Jerry Artz.

Leroy was preceded in death by two sisters: Darlene Artz, and Vivian Vanden Bosch; three brothers: Robert, Roland, and David; two infant sons, Peter and James Massey; two brothers-in-law and a sister-in-law.

Funeral Services will be held at 6 p.m. Monday, April 30, 2007, at the funeral home. Visitation will be from 3 p.m. until the time of services. A memorial is being established.

WICHMANN FUNERAL HOME

3212 South Oneida St.

Menasha 920-831-9905

www.wichmannfuneralhomes.com

The sun came up...

As you all know, on April 17th we brought "daddy", as I usually called him, home to die. Yesterday at nearly 2:00pm CST, with Taylor and me and Jon by his side, he left our world. His final moments were not, perhaps, what I had imagined them to be, but he was loved, cared for, and most importantly, not alone or in pain.

I knew that I would not take this well, but I have been preparing for it for many years. My family was probably so tired of hearing me tell them how sick he was, that I can't even imagine how they took my phone call for them to come here yesterday. When I made the calls, he was alive. His hospice nurse wanted to make sure that we didn't want him evaluated for the changes that had occured practically over night. So even in his final moments, he was unpredictable. Later, Mike (RN) told me that he really expected him to hold on for a day or two. Unfortunately, I think Daddy was very tired, and given life everything he had. As I took his hand, I said, "Daddy, I am here, and Mike, Joe, Amy, and Mom, they are on their way here..." I think he knew then that it was really ok to go.

I know that his suffering has ended, and not being a very religious person, I had actually prayed most of the nights this week that it would. Perhaps there is a place beyond our reach where the souls of the dead go to live out eternity doing the things that they loved. I can say this morning that I truly hope so. Daddy would be in a boat fishing or building picnic tables and birdhouses once again.

Daddy was many things to many people, and although he was not always the most graceful, or politically correct human being, he was genuine, honest, accepting, and very wise. He was a father, a husband, a grandpa, a brother, and a special friend to many, and he will not soon be forgotten.

Pix

As demanded :) I have pix!



Livi is such a good helper!!!



Look at this big tooth!



Those big eyes are just simply killer!!!



Look how much alike they look in this photo! Most of the time they are so different, so a moment like this is truly precious.

Callus'

This afternoon Jon and I worked out in the garage on yet another project that I dreamed up. For those of you who may not know, I am infamous for conceiving up time consuming and labor intensive projects... One day several years ago, I called Jon up at work and said, "Um, you were serious about the bathroom project, right???" I mean, it wasn't like we had been talking about removing some shelves and knocking out a wall, when I just, you know, took a sledge hammer while he was at work and knocked a huge hole in the wall... [sarcasm, wink]... Other infamous little projects included replacing the kitchen sink (and should I mention adding a disposal...dishwasher...new counter top and faux finishing the walls ;), Demolishing the existing garage, building a new garage, ripping out the carpet and refinishing the hard wood floors, adding another pillar to our front porch, hmm... I am sure Jon could think of more.

Anyway, this time I wanted to build a vertical screen that we could use to give Dad a little privacy. Our house has a truly open concept in terms of floor plan. Our living room (now Dad's room) is one large room combined with the dinning area and the kitchen. So I had planned to build an eight by three foot screen with three panels (totaling 8 x 9 feet). I quickly reduced the size to 6x3 foot panels though. They are still sort of big, but I think they will give Dad some needed privacy, especially where bathing and dressing are concerned. Besides my poor thumb, we got through this one injury free ;) I can't remember the last time I had a splinter!

Long Days

Dad moved in with us on Tuesday. He arrived just after noon. In most ways, the new addition to our home has been exactly what we expected it would be. Every minute of my day is filled with cares, cleaning, or preparation for later. This morning while making breakfast, testing Dad's blood sugar, and getting him up from bed, I was also making our dinner and preparing for tomorrow's dinner. While making lunch, testing Dad's blood sugar, and putting the kiddos down for naps, I was also making myself a lunch for while at work, mixing formula for Taylor, making bottles for Alivya, changing Dad's sheets, and making a list for things that Jon needed to remember to do tonight. I feel like I have to stay six steps ahead to stay afloat. This doesn't really come as a surprise to me, but my body was definitely not as physically prepared for it as it was mentally.

I had Dad's hospice care switched to a new provider, and so far, I think it is working wonderfully. The nurse that is working with Dad has been over everyday since he has been home. The first day, there was coverage from the time he got there until three am. Around 9am the next day another woman came, and stayed with us until almost five. I really felt like they were trying to achieve the smoothest possible transition for him.

Last night was rough, as Dad fell out of bed. As we agreed to do this, Jon and I have always maintained that our biggest concerns had to do with his safety during the night. We asked for bed rails, but the hospice people have had some bad experiences with rails, and therefore really try everything else first. We did finally get them today, I think it will help keep him in bed. Luckily, we sort of expected the fall, so I placed pillows and blankets on the floor before we went to bed. Jon also heard it right away, so he wasn't laying there all night either. Other than these falls, Dad has been somewhat withdrawn. In general, he is pretty slow to respond to questions and sleeps pretty much all day. He is most alert and awake in the mornings, and slowly deteriorates as the day wares on. As always, it is difficult to assess whether he is comfortable or not. He spends a lot of time having coughing fits, although the nurses tell me that his lungs are clear. He has complained a little about a sore back, but refuses to take Tylenol for it. I wonder if he isn't just confused about what Tylenol is. We did get him to take some Morphine the other day, but the taste is so awful that he refuses to take any more.

So time ticks on... I felt good this morning as my cinnamon waffles were a big hit, not only with Dad, but with the kids too!

The Price of Mac

One comment that everyone seems to have concerning Apple and their brand of Mac computers is that they are nice, but very expensive. As some of you know we recently purchased a MacBook to replace the one that is currently on life support and fading fast. The decision came from my wife wanting to get into professional photography. It is not so much that a Mac is more adept at working with graphics, but they tend to be much more prominent in the photography field.

We started looking at their notebooks and did find the prices to be a little high. Thankfully my brother works for a university and was able to get us a $100 discount, making it more attractive. We ordered the MacBook on Monday. It was shipped from China on Thursday and arrived Friday morning. Fed Ex is damn fast. We quickly got to setting it up.

Now I have used OS X a little in the past with my brother and mother, both long time Mac users. I even used to be a Mac user before I started down the PC path with my rocking 200mhz P2 with a whole 64mb of ram and 4gb of hard drive space. The experience turning this thing on and starting to use it was fantastic. I don’t know if it is the fact that my wife’s old notebook was so underpowered for what we are doing or if OS X is just that much better than XP. Maybe it is just the new shiny and I will be over it in a month. Either way, I am currently enthralled.

In some ways the fact that the OS and hardware are a closed system actually appeals to me. I think of it in the way that game consoles are closed systems. With a closed system you can pump so much more out of each part of the hardware as opposed to an open system that needs lots of redundancy so that it runs on everything available. My Nintendo DS and Wii, both ironically Mac white, can do way more with their systems as far as gaming when compared to a pocket PC or desktop PC of the same size or cost.

This all has me wondering how much extra the MacBook, and Macs in general, cost compared to similar, at least in hardware specs, Windows systems. I did some research and comparisons and this is what I came up with.

Entry Level



The Mac Mini is their entry level, Web and E-mail, system in the computer market. Even with that it is a decent system, something that most people probably do not notice. To make comparisons I decided to use two different PCs, a Dell and a self built one I priced at PriceWatch.com.

Here are the system specifications.

Mac Mini
Processor: 1.66GHz Intel Core Duo
RAM: 1GB (2x256MB) 667MHz DDR2 SDRAM (PC2-5300)
Hard Disk: 60GB Serial ATA
Graphics: Intel GMA 950 graphics processor with 64MB of DDR2 SDRAM
Disk Drive: 24x Combo Drive (DVD-ROM/CD-RW)
Case: Mac Mini
Cost: $674

Dell
Processor: Pentium D 2.80 GHz Dual Core
RAM: 1GB Dual Channel DDR2 SDRAM at 667MHz
Hard Disk: 160GB Serial ATA 3Gb/s Hard Drive (7200RPM) w/DataBurst Cache
Graphics: Intel Graphics Media Accelerator X3000
Disk Drive: 48x DVD-ROM/CD-RW
Case: Dell
Cost: $549

PriceWatch
Processor: 1.80GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
RAM: 1GB Kingston Technology KVR667D2D8F5/1G (x4)
Hard Disk: Seagate Serial ATA 500gb 16mb
Graphics: Chiefmax geForce 6200TC 64MB
Disk Drive: LG ELECTRONICS GCC-4481B
Case: Spire SP-2712S
Cost: $588

There is some problem with comparison because the Mini uses an Intel Core Duo and I could not find a comparable one. Even so I think these systems match up fairly well. The Mac Mini is the most expensive, but only costs about $75 more than the cheapest PriceWatch. I’m my opinion $75 dollars is not too much to ask. If they had Mac Minis when I first got my Mother-In-Law computer it would have been a Mini. You can get way cheaper PCs as well, I often see deals form Tiger Direct for only $200, but those systems are very basic, come with no software, and do not have nearly as much firepower.

The Mini also is very small, and comes with a remote and the option of wireless Keyboard and mouse. These options make it ideal for a media center PC, as it also comes with Front Row, a media organization program that is easily navigated by the remote. When Apple comes out with a 2.0ghz option it will even be able to play H.264 video at 1080p. H.264 is a form of video compression that makes the files very small but takes a good amount of horsepower to play. I would love to be able to purchase HD-DVDs or BluRays (which ever comes out on top), rip them to a server, compress them to H.264, and then be able to watch them right from the Mac Mini.

Notebooks



This is area that we purchased in. I did not do a PriceWatch comparison because notebooks are so specialized I feel it is best to get a name brand. A desktop you can switch out components easily if something breaks, not so with a notebook.

MacBook
Processor: 2.0GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
RAM: 1GB (two SODIMMs)
Hard Drive: 80GB Serial ATA, 5400rpm
Video Card: Intel GMA 950 graphics processor with 64MB of DDR2 SDRAM
Disk Drives: 24x Combo Drive (DVD-ROM/CD-RW)
Case: MacBook
Cost: $1299

Dell
Processor: Intel® Core™ 2 Duo T7200 (2.00GHz, 4MB L2 Cache, 667 MHz FSB)
RAM: DDR2 SDRAM at 533MHz, 2 Dimm
Hard Drive: 80GB Sata Hard Drive
Video Card: Intel® Graphics Media Accelerator 950
Disk Drives: 8X CD/DVD Burner (DVD+/-RW) with double-layer DVD+R write capability
Case: Dell
Cost: $1049

Again, the Mac is more expensive, and this time by $250. For us it was only $150 due to the discount we received, and I still think the extra cost was worth it. For one you can run Windows XP or Vista on the MacBook natively. Also, the MacBook is smaller, which is a plus for me as notebooks are all about being portable.

High End



These are the dream machines, the ones that geeks like me drool over, ideal for gaming and video/photo editing.

Mac Pro
Processor: Xeon 5160 3.0 GHz Core 2 Duo X2
RAM: 4 GB 667MHz DDR2 ECC fully buffered DIMM
Hard Drive: 500GB Serial ATA 3Gb/s, 7200 rpm, 8MB cache
Video Card: Radeon X1900 XT 512mb
Disk Drives: 16x SuperDrive with double-layer support
Case: Mac Pro
Cost: $4375

PriceWatch
Processor: Xeon 5160 3.0 GHz Core 2 Duo X2
RAM: Kingston Technology KVR667D2D8F5/1G (x4)
Hard Drive: Seagate Serial ATA 500gb 16mb
Video Card: PowerColor RADEON X1900 XT 512MB
Disk Drives: LG ELECTRONICS GSA-H42N
Case: Spire SP-2712S
Cost: 3820

Dell
Processor: Intel® Core™2 Q6600 Quad-Core (8MB L2 cache,2.4GHz,1066FSB)
RAM: 4GB Dual Channel DDR2 SDRAM at 667MHz
Hard Drive: 500GB Serial ATA 3Gb/s Hard Drive (7200RPM) w/DataBurst Cache
Video Card: 768MB nVidia GeForce 8800 GTX
Disk Drives: Dual Drives: 16x DVD-ROM Drive + 16x DVD+/-RW w/ dbl layer
Case: Dell
Cost: 4017

Plays out very similarly to the other examples, Mac being the most expensive, followed by the Dell, then the PriceWatch build your own. If you can get the educational discount take $200 off of the Mac Pro, which makes it only $150 more than the Dell. Also note that the Mac has a better processor, but the Dell has a better video card.

I did not choose to look at mid range desktops as Apple has put iMacs in that category. iMacs have the screen built into the computer, which bothers me for non notebook computers. Monitors tend to last longer than computers, but if you have the screen built in when you want a new one you need a new screen too. I am still using the 22in I got back in 2002. Also, if something goes wrong with the computer or the screen you need to get the whole thing fixed. If you do purchase a iMac I would highly recommend purchasing Apple Care, which extends customer service and support to 3 years.

In the end the premium for a Mac does not seem that exuberant $50-150 more than a Dell, and up to $500 more than a build it yourself. The amount of time I have spent fixing these machines makes it very compelling to just go with a pre assembled, and when you are talking $4000 already $500 does not seem to be that much.

Time will tell how much I like working in OSX. They still need to come out with an Intel native Quicken and Office, right now we are booting into XP for those functions, which I personally find annoying. Having that ability is still nice, however, since I do plenty of gaming and having the ability to play anything that comes out for Windows is a must in my book.

In my dreams I have two systems, a Mac Pro for music, movies, internet, and a dedicated PC gaming rig. In reality it would be much cheaper to just go with the Mac Pro. Next year, when I get a new machine we will just see how much OS X has grown on me.

For Dad just wasn't meant to be

So I began writing a post on Thursday morning... I was interrupted in the middle of it, and unable to get back to it until Friday night. I thought that I had saved it, but when I got back to it, only one third of it was there. So, not being easily discouraged, I picked up where the save had ended. I finished it, published it... I even saw the post in a new window right there on our blog... So yesterday, Jon logs on and says to me, "you really should finish this." And I am all like, "Finish what?". He says, "The For Dad Post". I am in complete disbelief that it is not there. He shows me the draft that was saved... it was half of what I had originally typed, the new stuff was gone. So I check today, to see if by some miracle this stupid blogger could fix itself... and what do I find? Yeah, the whole thing that I originally typed. So maybe tomorrow the new stuff will show up. Seems to me that "For Dad" was never meant to be.

Since I am too burnt out to retype everything for a third time... My Father is dying from Kidney Failure secondary to End Stage Congestive Heart Failure. We were forced to put him in a nursing home last week Thursday, he lasted one night there. It was awful. He will be coming to live the rest of his days with me and Jon tomorrow or Tuesday.

I am going to get my tired butt to bed now.

Tubes in

Taylor had his ear tube surgery yesterday. Although the surgeon said it was more complicated than he expected, everything went well. Taylor was very fussy and irritated most of yesterday. Today he is his old happy self. I can't tell just yet if he hears more, but he will have another hearing exam next week. The surgeon said that his ears were "interesting". He explained that his little eardrums were sucked very tight into the wall of Eustachian tubes, and behind them was a build up of very thick gunky cerumen... The way he said it lead us to believe that this was very odd, so we feel confident that the tubes were a very good decision. We left home at 6:15am, arrived back around 9:30am. From then until sometime around 2pm Taylor fussed and screamed while his little eyelids opened and closed like they were coated in lead. Finally around 2 he quit fighting and slept soundly for a whopping 40 minutes or so. Around 6pm, Jon took this photo:

J&J Studios

So I have had this dream about doing photography as more than a hobby, but I am a little bit wimpy when it comes to putting myself out like that. So over the past three years or so, Jon has been encouraging me to go for it. He even bought me a new high tech digital SLR about two years ago... I take it everywhere! Last June a very close friend asked me to shoot the photos at her wedding. I have to admit, I got a really big thrill out of it. I really enjoyed doing it. So, my computer got a little tired last weekend (and by a little tired, I mean, the screen went really dark almost black). Anyway, the talk about needing to get a new computer stirred up old notions of starting our own small photography business again... So I contacted another friend of ours, who has an MBA, and asked if she would help me put together a business plan and do a market analysis. I also put together another blog where I can post some of my photos and begin the process of "putting myself out there"! So, please visit my gallery at J&J Studios.

Suggestions and moral support needed and welcomed! ;)

Damn Blogger, now I am REALLY ticked off

Ok, so third time is a charm, right? So this post actually started an hour ago, with a title of "one more crazy week down"... but as you might guess, blogger lost not only that one, but the second one I attempted to write. UHG!!! So, in a nutshell, I lost an hour of my life, you have no updates on the kids, and all my fancy links are shot.

Ok, so Taylor got is orthotics on Tuesday, see pic... Livi and Tay both have bad colds, spent Tue, Wed, Thur, and today helplessly wiping their little red noses! Poor things! I feel like crap, but I was feeling better until my big post was lost... we had 11 appointments this week, I am super exhausted! Haven't heard yet if Jon got the job, ugh. Painted MIL's dining room yesterday, I like it, hope she does too.







Some time ago, sorry, I was awarded this blogger award by Denise at Cameron's Corner. I have been trying to find time to get on this week, but it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, my dear hubby says that this is as bad as a chain letter, but I think that it was given to me with so much sincerity, that it deserves to be mentioned. Denise and I met on a message board for pregnant women well over a year ago. Along with all of the women on the board, she has been super supportive over the last year. I was truly flattered when I read that she had chosen to nominate my blog for this award. She had so many choices to pick from, I nearly fell on the floor when I read that she had chosen mine. So chain letter or not, I have decided that I would like to give someone the same honor. Unfortunately, I do not actually read five blogs, also I would rather nominate just one with great sincerity. SO with that, I would like to offer the blogger award to Emmakirst. Emmakirst is another woman that I met on the pregnancy board so long ago. She also has been extremely supportive over the last year and a half. We have really enjoyed watching little A's achievements as she was due just two days after I was, and actually born just two days before I was due. We wish her all the best as she ventures into yet another pregnancy! Congrats Emmakirst!

Now with video...

Alivya got a little excited with Taylors wedge. Don't worry she is fine. Funny that a $50 camera can get movies online easily as opposed to our $1000 one.

Surgery again...

We had our Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) appointment today to deal with Taylor's failed hearing tests. In two minutes he looked in his ears, and his nose, and his mouth (ironically ;) and looked up at me and said, "Well.... He has fluid behind his ears." Boy, why isn't my name followed by MD??? Anyway, so Taylor will have surgery on April 4th to put tiny tubes in his ears to help relieve the pressure. Hopefully this will help give him some relief from post nasal drip, balance issues, and help him to hear. All of which may help him eat better, move better, and socialize more than ever! The procedure is really quick, only 2-3 minutes, and is done outpatient. It should not be too uncomfortable for him either. Hopefully we are preventing a childhood filled with ear infections too... poor kid has enough problems, right?!?

Walk America- Support the March of Dimes

I would like to take a moment of your time to ask you to please help save babies. Jon and I are sharing our story about how the March of Dimes has touched our lives.

In early 2005 we were thrilled to find out that we were expecting twins in April 2006. Our joy quickly became sorrow after twin A’s bag of waters ruptured at just 20 weeks gestation. Although we were strongly advised to induce labor, we opted to take prophylactic antibiotics and wait to see what happened. I spent six lonely weeks on strict inpatient bed rest before I went into labor on December 30^th, 2005. At only 26 weeks gestation, Taylor and Alivya were barely viable.

They were both intubated and placed on special oscillating ventilators. Taylor, whose lung function resembled that of a 22 or 23 week baby, was not oxygenating well enough to support life even on the special equipment. It was decided that a very experimental treatment involving Nitrous Oxide would be his only hope. Although this treatment had never been given to a baby younger that 31weeks at our hospital, the treatment was successful. Each of our tiny babies spent weeks on ventilators, sedated for comfort and to allow for them to grow. Day by day we prayed for the tiniest fraction of an ounce of weight gain, and slowly their levels of care decreased. During their first three months of life, Taylor and Alivya became survivors of prematurity, and all of the complications that go along with it. Combined, they survived Grades I and II intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH), patent ductus arteriosis (PDA), anemia of prematurity, retinopathy of prematurity (ROP), necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC), countless life threatening infections, feeding intolerances, complete oral aversions, generalized muscle and tone weaknesses, and oxygen dependency.

Today, Taylor and Alivya are nearing their first adjusted birthday and doing well. Our battle is far from over as Taylor continues to depend on jejunal tube feedings and oral aversions, but without the tireless research of the March of Dimes, it is likely that he would not be here today. We ask for your support today in hopes that someday, all babies will be free from the devastating effects of prematurity and the need for such a struggle for life. We welcome any donation, cash or check donations can be made by filling out the form attached. Online donations can be made by going to our team web page:

http://www.walkamerica.org/393149

If you cannot donate money, but you wish to walk to save babies, you may join our team by visiting us on the web (see address above) and clicking on “join this team” on the left. Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story and any contributions you can offer.

Snail Mail

It dawned on me the past few days, that without the internet, I would be 99 percent disconnected from the world. We don't watch TV, I don't really go anywhere, no one really comes here (that is except therapists)... I am not sure when the internet became my gateway to life. But somehow, tapping out an email is suddenly easier to me than making a phone call. Although it ties up both my hands, and really does require my visual attention, it seems to fit my mulitasking lifestyle remarkably well. Weird. Still, doesn't it fit the lifestyle of almost anyone? (That is except that of people who do not own computers or have internet...) I mean, if I call you right now, you have to stop reading my blog, get up, go to the phone, probably check out who is calling, then decide, do I really want to talk to Julie, who may or may not babble on about something I don't care about for hours... instead, doesn't it seem better to simply decide that you want to have contact with the world, go to your computer and look in your in box? There you can read what you want, delete what you don't want, scroll past all the babbling nonsense, remark back about the interesting or useful stuff...etc. Or what about blogging? You find blogs made by interesting people that you actually have some connection with, they write when they feel like it, you check it out when you feel like it... everyone wins... since all this happens at their own convenience. Even the old snail mail which as the name suggests, didn't take place at the speed of light just isn't as convenient as the old information super highway. Even with my high speed cable costs... I don't spend as much as I would if all these posts, and all my email cost me 39 cents a piece.

Yet we still crave this desire to receive a phone call, have a visit, or even a small piece of parcel... why?

From 2007 Twins

In twins news...
We have been very busy. Last week we took Taylor to the Audiology clinic where his hearing was tested. They put some little probes in his ears, that kept falling out. The lady was able to calm him enough to get a poor reading on his left ear, and a fair reading on his right ear. He failed both exams. Then Taylor and I were put into a "sound proof" booth, I quote this because I could hear Livi and Taylor's care worker outside... Anyway the booth had three of those little creepy stuffed monkeys with cymbals strapped to their hands. One was in front of us, and one on either side of us. The tech told me not to turn my head as it might clue off Taylor. So I decided to stare into his cute little swirly spot of hair on the back of his head. When the creepy little monkey on my right, started lighting up and banging his little cymbals, it took all I had to try not to look at it. So as the test went on, it was obvious that Taylor was either not hearing certain sounds, as they started out really low and rapidly grew very loud without him bothering to turn his head... or he was simply not interested in looking in that direction. After about ten minutes there, we left the booth. The Audiologist said nothing about the test, she simply said, "let me try one more thing." I knew something was wrong, but I wondered when she was actually going to tell me. So she took us to another machine like the first one. Asked me to hold him down a bit, and put more probes in each ear. This machine, she explained, would detect if there was movement of his eardrums. Even in my very poor understanding of how the human ear works, I knew that lack of movement of the ear drums, was not a good thing. So the screen showed a basically flat line, very little movement of the eardrums. So after all this, Taylor basically failed all the hearing tests. The audiologist tells me that I have to call his primary and ask for a referral to an Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) Doctor. So we will see him on Thursday, and Alivya will get to experience the monkeys too.

We also went to the GI doc last week. He was basically happy, but wanted to check Taylor's nutrition labs. This did not really seem so hard, but it took them nearly an hour and a half to get three large vials of blood... I could not believe that they would put a baby through that. Then we get a call later in the week, that they did not get enough blood still, and we have to bring him back... not me, I will take him to the ped's office, where they are used to drawing blood from babies.

From 2007 Twins

Over St Patty's weekend we took the kids to Chicago for Jon's cousin's wedding. We got to the church early, and the regular 4 o'clock mass had not yet ended. Every old woman who passed us oohhd and ahhhd over our little princess Alivya. I must say, she looked radiant... sometimes if she didn't look so much like her uncle Greg, I would swear she couldn't be ours! Taylor was stunning too... click on the link below the picture above to see more pix.

The kids didn't really fair to well through the church service, but there was a really good "quiet room" so it was ok. We made it through dinner, then the smoke overwhelmed us, and we left.

The Cranks

So we discovered this morning that madam crank, miss Livi, Alivya.... HAS A TOOTH!!!!! Hurray. Maybe this will be an answer to our crying problem! Maybe not, but one can hope!

On a side note, Taylor now has five....

I took these photos of the kiddos this morning... don't they play nice together?!

From 2007 Twins

From 2007 Twins

From 2007 Twins

From 2007 Twins

I wasn't going to post all of them, but it was just too much fun to flip through them! I love the third one, that will probably make the photo album!